Miss March: T Writes from the Battlelines!

Hey all, special treat today! T‘s been online dating and I’ve asked her to share here with us, her first experience meeting a man she met online. I’ll be back in the next few days! Thanks T!

I have a confession.

Well, I guess, a couple. The first is that I am currently watching the My Super Sweet Sixteen Movie. Don’t judge me!  The second is much bigger, and only a few of my closest friends know.

I am a registered user on not just one, but two online dating sites. I have a profile on each. After getting my heart broken about a year and a half ago, dating a really great guy for about 4 months somewhere in there (who unfortunately could never be more than a rebound, though I did care for him very much and wish him all the best), this is the first time I’m really coming to terms with the idea that I am actually, finally ready for a relationship.  However I work in a creative field a little bit void of straight men, and thus… dating sites. Which I swore I would never do, after a jarring experience last September.

From this, I met TheLawyer.  He is the only one I have had a date with so far. Let me tell you a tale… gather ’round, friends of Miss March.

If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you – while laughing – that I have a type. I like them maybe a few pounds overweight (negotiable), glasses, a big smile, bearded/stubbled (which is funny because I hate facial hair typically, however every man I’ve loved has had it!), and an intellectual.  So when Lawyer messaged me, it seemed like a hit. He was funny, a bit of a geek about music, older, glasses, stubbled, and smart. A slightly bearded bespectacled intellectual. After exchanging some e-mails and a few flirty gchats, I happily agreed to meet him for a drik after work on Wednesday.

It started off well enough – he set the place for where we’d meet.  In my group, I am typically the one making arrangements, so it felt great to take a break from it. I met up with him, and on a purely (and ashamedly) superficial level – he’s so short. My height. And I’m little. The place he found was totally packed, so we crossed the street to a sort of more upscale place. He was impossible to talk to in person, I felt like I had to pull the conversation out of him. However, I eventually got him started on a topic he was interested in – the neighborhoods of Brooklyn. Or, more specifically, the transportation benefits of the various neighborhoods in Brooklyn. He listed every bus and subway that goes to Brooklyn Heights, and making sure to mention that was where he lived with his ex girlfriend… and he knew how long ago they had broken up to the day. Literally. He was very condescending about the fact that I was younger than him, and when I tried to talk about economic policy with him, he dismissed my ideas because I was young. He finished by telling me that he’s been on the Atkins diet for deveral years (despite that he’s very thin) and proceeded to give me tips for how to do it myself.

So, he turned out to kind of be an asshole. I’ve been talking to a couple other guys, and hopefully my dates with them will be more promising. However, as my first real attempt back out there, newly healed heart and mind… it was a little jarring. Will they all be so surly?? Please say no!

4 responses to “Miss March: T Writes from the Battlelines!

  1. Hi T!

    One of my best friends always says “online dating is for short men, how else they gonna get any?” I have to admit, I think there’s some truth to it. But alas, I would not give up on all hope just because of one asshole. It just takes a lot of weeding through assholes to find someone worth it.

    And I say that from experience – in the last three months, I have been on dates with NINE guys I met online. Most just ended up being first dates that never amounted to anything. Of the nine, 1 was a total psycho, 2 were guys I really wasn’t into (3 if you count the psycho), 3 were disappointingly short (I started weeding out for height eventually), 4 were blatantly just interested in sex, 1 I consider to be a close friend now (hard to say close after 3 months but we’re def kindred souls, just no romantic spark), 1 was the coolest/cutest guy ever but again no spark, and 1 I’m dating now and really crushing on!

    If we have the patience, it might end up being worth it.

  2. I cancelled my account to Match after meeting one too many crazy men. One of them evetually turned into what I like to call a e-stalker. No fun.

    It sounds like the winner you went out with has Napoleon complex. Hopefully you’ll have better luck next time. :)

  3. Thanks for your comments guys! I’m going to do a shameless plug – Miss March has been trying to get me to start my own blog for a long time, and I finally did, thanks to your warm responses to my guest post! Come hang out with me over there, too, because I’m a fragile new blogger and need new blog friends :)

    thoughtyousaidblog.wordpress.com

    Thanks so much!!

  4. T – way to get back into it. I tried the online thing – and the first guy was shorter than me and I’m 5’2″. He said he was 5’5″. Out of 4 guys I met, one of them was legit. The rest were weird.

    Hang in there, at least it makes for some good stories. NoHostBar

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