Miss March on Confusion

My first date with MusicTeach was magical. It was romantic, sexy, flirty, and fun. The conversation flowed, the people laughed, we kissed while music was playing in the background. He made me smile, he stared into my eyes; it was the kind of date that makes people want to run away and get married. It was perfect. We had talked on the phone the whole night before so I knew we were going to get along; I was right. There was no gaps in the conversation. If there was a silence it wasn’t awkward. We met at the bookstore and he walked out from in between the shelves wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and blazer. He was adorable. It was a scene from a movie, us walking toward each other. We traded CDs; he bought me a book; he brought me some of his artwork. He opened every door, paid for dinner, told me I was beautiful. I was enchanted. Yet, I played it cool. After dinner we walked to the park where we sat on a bench for hours and talked. He didn’t try to kiss me until he did and he said, “I’m going to kiss you now.” He was a perfect gentleman. He even declared us having “a song.” My head was spinning. “Is this it?” I kept asking myself. “Is he the ONE?” He asked me my stance on “love at first sight” and what I wanted out of my life. We spent the whole night talking on the bench. The kisses were sweet, his eyes sparkled with a positive light, and his smile and dimples were to die for.

The next morning he called me early and we texted and called all day long. He had a date that night (ours was spur of the moment) and I told him I wanted to see him. So, before his date he stopped by my town and we walked around a bit and laughed a lot. He told me he liked me and he felt really comfortable with me. Again, my head spun. I told my mom, “I’m screwed.” She laughed. I liked him so much. I didn’t know what to make of it.

We decided to see each other on the next Tuesday. He picked me up from my house (courting!) and we went back to the park. We lay in the beautiful weather for hours while I read and he did work. Afterwards we went to dinner, then back to his house to watch a movie. Movie watching led to fooling around and we had the time of our lives being silly and flirty. He played music for me. I was totally comfortable with him. I was happy. However, on the ride back to my house I felt something change. A shift occurred. Granted, it was late. Granted, he was tired, but he was silent. Didn’t even touch me. Barely kissed me goodbye. “Talk to you sometime” I said quietly and got out of the car, picnic blanket in hand, dress wrinkled, eyes confused. I kept replaying the night over in my head. I didn’t come on too strong; I made sure I didn’t. He told me how much he liked me. He held my hand the whole night. We had a fantastic time. Right? I thought so.

I didn’t hear from him the next day, Wednesday. But, like I said, I didn’t expect to. That just wasn’t how he works, and I got that. Plus, I made it very clear that I’m not into settling down, so I thought he was just giving me space.

On Thursday I got two text messages from him. One was asking me to come talk to him online. The next said that he had gotten into a sports accident and his face was beaten up. I came online and we chatted. He thanked me for checking in with him and told me that he hadn’t even told his parents’ yet (so I was the first person he told?) and that he was “in hiding and would be for the next few days.” He didn’t make any mention of our day together, which I found odd. Later that night we talked online again. Again, he talked about his accident and told me, three more times, using different terms, that he would be unavailable for a few days because of his accident. Again, he didn’t make any mention of our time, or me, or us, or whatever. I’m not even asking for much, just maybe a “I had a great time the other night” or something. He said he was tired and I told him to call me sometime.

I’m just confused. What happened here? I’m not exaggerating when I say that on our first date it seems as though he was about to get down on one knee. We had an amazing, Rom-Com, passion in our soul, type of time. Why did he feel it was necessary to tell me five thousand times that he’d be “a hermit” for a few days? We had a good time, this is a fact. He told me that I make him feel comfortable; he played guitar for me in his boxers; we laid tangled up in each other watching a movie. He let me in on his life. And then no mention of anything. It’s just weird. Here’s my theories: one theory is actually J.’s and she said that perhaps he thought he was ready to settle down, but when he met me and saw how compatible we were, he got overwhelmed and needed to step back because the woman became a reality. Also, maybe he thinks we’re such good friends that he doesn’t need to say certain things? Hello! I need some affirmation here!

I talked to Admiral Adama about it a bit and he said, “Miss March, you always looked for validation in texts.” Ah, the wise words of an ex. Perhaps I do, but is it wrong? How hard is it to text message? (T., my best friend from college, stated “I never trust a man who doesn’t text!”) Coheed stated, rightly, that if MusicTeach called me every day (which he had been doing) it would be too much like a relationship. I just want to know what happened. Maybe nothing happened. Maybe he got scared. I’m sorry, but I just can’t blame myself for this one. I was cool, calm, and collected around him. I made it clear that I wasn’t looking for anything but a friend and fun. He even said that he thought this was the beginning of something and that we had “potential.” Perhaps his face is really messed up and he’s afraid of me seeing it? Then you say, “Miss March, it’s such a shame I’ll be in hiding because I really liked my time with you.” Maybe I’m asking too much? The whole situation is weird. Maybe if he’s thinking something he should just come out and say it. I’m so sick of games. Apparently, even musicians play them!

What do you think? Am I overthinking this? It’s okay to say yes!

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3 responses to “Miss March on Confusion

  1. A very wise actress said to me (moments before we got into a car accident together…) “Honey, you think it will, but just so you know – scared never goes away. They get scared when they’re 21, they’re gonna get scared when they’re 31.” To me it feels like a cop out, but I recognize that it actually happens, and it seems like he’s really just tweaking out. Just take a step back and let him work out what are clearly HIS issues, not yours!

  2. he’s just not that into you.

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