It’s official. I was “We-ed.”
That term comes from Sex and the City; I’d prefer to use the term duped, or perhaps emotionally teased or emotionally led on. I think I like Emotionally Teased best. That’s what he was: an emotional tease.
That’s right: MusicTeach. He we-ed me in the restaurant (“We should go to my art studio!”); he we-ed me in the park (“If We ever get married…” Yes, he really did that say on date one. I thought it was romantic. Perhaps that’s my mistake); he we-ed me in the car (“What if We had never met?”); he we-ed me at the next dinner (“We can cook next time…”). The list is never ending. When I say that he was Mr. Pretty Much Perfect, I mean it. At least on dates he was. He bought me a book, brought me artwork, music, played music for me, opened every door, paid for everything. And then it all stopped on the way home from date #2.
Something in his head must have snapped. Perhaps he was overwhelmed, or confused, or scared. He hasn’t called for a week. He did text to tell me about his accident (sports related); but, after that, when I tried to be nice and see how he was doing with a quick “How’s the head” text (every couple of days) he gave me one word answers. He never told me anything like “I had a great time with you,” or “It sucks that I’m laying low because I would have liked to spend time with you.” Nothing at all flirtatious or sweet or kind or even about me. Nothing.
And the thing is, I don’t think he set out to “we” and not “woo” me. I think that he had every intention of pursuing this (he said a few times, “this seems like the beginning of something great”). I think he simply got overwhelmed. But, here’s the thing. He’s 5 years older than me. He sort of should know his mind by now (at least to some degree). Who knows though, maybe he’s more messed up than the average fellow. Or maybe he’s going through something right now (that seemed to be the consensus with my friends). Either way, I’m done. I can’t keep waiting for him to come back as the person he was on our dates (and that first night on the phone) because something went amiss in his head and he decided to cut me out.
The whole thing makes me nauseous and mad. But, there’s nothing I can do about it. It taught me to watch my heart a little closer, perhaps put some walls up that I needed to put up, and don’t ever trust a man when he “we’s” instead of “Woos” me. There should be no “we-ing” on the first few dates because the man says it, puts it out there, and then scares himself and he retreats. I mean, that’s the funny thing about this whole MusicTeach mess; I watched myself very carefully to make sure I wasn’t the one coming on too strong; he was the one with the big plans, and the talk about marriage and asking me my favorite baby names. HIM, not me. He not only we-ed me, but he we-ed himself, and now he can wee wee wee all the way home, alone.
Have you ever been We-ed while being Wooed?