You ever have a theory about something only to find it quickly proved wrong?
Last night was J’s birthday, so naturally Miss March and J went out looking to see who we could meet and what they had to say. J looked stunning in her purple sequined dress and Miss March took the more adult road with a simple black dress and heels. Which I never wear, but props to the fifteen dollar Payless heels which were super comfortable! Anyway, we went to the restaurant that J works at first, for a glass of wine, and these two men, in their late 20s were standing by the bar. They must have overheard J talking to her work friends about it being her birthday because the younger (and admittedly, cuter) one wished her a happy birthday. They were from Chicago, staying just one night in the town next to ours, and wanted to get out and see the island. It was like a flashback to 1942: “We’re just in town for one night, our flight leaves in the morning…” We talked for a few minutes with them, but they were quieter than men from around here (aka: less annoying?) and finally, they paid their bar tab, told J that if we ran into them again they would buy her a drink, and they left. I don’t know where they were going, since they didn’t know anyone else around, we were talking to them, and laughing, but I guess they had other pastures to graze. Or something. After they left, two older men, with wives sitting right next to them, struck up a conversation with us. They were tennis-playing-dentists, but they weren’t flirty or anything, so it was nice to just talk to someone.
Next we went to the other upscale, fun, sexy bar in town. J got a drink and we sat down at one of the high tables to people watch. In just that time span, three men around our father’s age hit on us; some were sweet, “You look beautiful!” and some were classic, “How you ladies doing tonight?” We sat down and yet another man came over to the table. He claimed he recognized us, told us we looked gorgeous, and talked to us for a minute. He said he was a regular in town and maybe he would see us around. He was around his late fifties. Nice looking man, don’t get me wrong, but not my type. As he walked away I laughed and said to J: God, no wonder older men get younger women so easily, none of the younger men in this bar are talking to us. They may make eye contact or smile, but they don’t ever come over. Older men are more brazen, less afraid, bolder; perhaps they don’t mind the rejection as much, because there’s a reason for it (they’re older!). It’s quickly becoming clear how older men find younger women to marry; you’re a regular at the bar, you continuously hit on the same young women, one of the younger women will eventually find you attractive and go home with you.
As I’m going off about this, an adorable, young guy walks by us and smiles at J. He was wearing a blue oxford shirt and jeans. He looked a lot like a cuter version of Adam Gertler, so we’ll call him FoodStar. “See!” J said, “he just walked by, smiled, and kept on going. Younger men have no guts to come over and actually TALK, they just smile and nod.” Suddenly out of the blue, FoodStar pops by our table. “Hi,” he said, “I’m with a group of women, and they’re all work friends…” He sort of motioned to sit down with us and J told him to sit down. He told us that he was with a group of women from work and it was one of their birthday parties, but they were all flirting with other guys and he was feeling really awkward. We told him it was J’s birthday and he guessed her age exactly; he was affable, cute, kind, and made us both laugh. He sat with us for an hour and we talked about everything from him being in the Marines, to poetry, drinking, men (he said, “What’s with guys and these shiny shirts?! What are they thinking?” There was indeed five young men in there wearing shiny shirts). He was very funny, very friendly, and totally not what we expected. He’s thirty; so he totally bashed my theory on older men being the only one’s to talk to us. Not only was he someone in my age range, but he was a really fun guy to talk to. We found out that he’s the manager of another bar in town and he invited us for free drinks one night soon. We didn’t trade numbers or anything, but I’m going to go to his bar on Saturday night while he’s bartending.
It really was such a breath of fresh air to talk to this guy; he wasn’t overtly trying to hit on us, he was flirting, he was funny, smart, and friendly. And, he was young! Totally blew my theory out of the water. The funny thing is, he told us that he had noticed J’s dress at the first bar we were at and when he saw her walk into the second place he knew he had to come over. So he texted a friend and walked by us, just to smile, and when we smiled back, he knew it was safe to come over. Just goes to show you, smiling back is the best way to get a guy!
Do you find that men twenty years older than you come over to talk rather than men ten years older than you? When was the last time you met someone at a bar?