I was talking to J last night about the whole whirlwind with MusicTeach; it really messed me up, and it’s a shame. I was in a great relationship, full of complete trust and love, for four years, and then this MusicTeach comes along and makes me feel like an idiot. How is that fair? It’s not. Which is why today we’re going to talk about the desire to publicly slander someone after they hurt you. While, I am a total proponent of the golden rule and karma (I like to say reciprocity is my religion), I have this animal-desire to hurt who ever hurts me or my loved ones. Doesn’t everyone? I mean, take the whole thing with MusicTeach; he played with my head and emotions, he led me on, he wooed me, and then he cut out. Just like that. I could feel it was happening at the time too; there was a shift in the air, and I knew it was over. I knew it was nothing I did, logically, intrinsically, but man, did it hurt. It still hurts. And, it’s so ironic. I had an amazing relationship with Adama, full of complete trust and loyalty; I never once doubted us or him. And now, because I messed around with MusicTeach and he never called back (for the most part), I have this fear that any boy/man I kiss from now on won’t ever call me back. It’s not only not fair to me, but it’s not fair to whoever I date. Someone didn’t text me back this weekend for a few hours and I freaked out; if you haven’t guessed already, that’s not my normal behavior. It wasn’t right of MusicTeach to play the game he played, and that’s why I’d love to publicly slander his name in the romance world.
And I could. If I wanted to and had the guts to. I could easily put his picture and name on Don’t Date Him Girl; I was checking it out last night, for fun, and I couldn’t believe that women post full names and pictures of these men. I mean, it’s one thing if a guy seriously played you (or worse), but I wouldn’t even think to use that website as my first method of anger. I have to say, I did search exes names on there; nothing came up. But, how easy would it be to put his full name, picture (thanks Facebook!), and a little “This guy fooled around with me, and then cut all ties! He we-ed me!” I know it’s anonymous, but I’d still be afraid he would find it and come after me. Apparently I didn’t really know this guy at all so who knows what he’s capable of.
But, suffice it to say, I like the message behind Don’t Date Him Girl; it’s bringing women together to talk about the people that hurt them, and sometimes that’s the best way to get over someone, to talk about it to others. And, thats what I want, I want closure. I want to know what was going through his head when he didn’t call, or stopped flirting, or barely kissed me goodnight after he spent the afternoon laughing with his head in my lap. I mean, what happened, really? He could have been another entry on Don’t Date Him Girl’s opposite website, Great Boyfriends, but he seemed to miss that mark, by a long shot.
Isn’t it tempting though, to think about publicly slandering a man’s romantic reputation and name? Isn’t it tempting to scream from rooftops, “Don’t ever trust him!”? I think it is. I said so many nice and flattering things to MusicTeach and now he’s going around thinking he’s this great guy; I want to take everything I said back. One of my favorite images of public slander is from the Sex and the City episode Anchor’s Away; Samantha was cheated on by Richard and so she makes up flyers with his name and picture on them and distributes them in his area of the City. The Policewoman tries to stop her, but when she finds out what Sam’s doing, she lets her go ahead. It’s great. These men don’t deserve to walk around thinking they are all that and more; and that’s what bothers me. He was disrespectful to me and my feelings, and all the while he gets to get out of the situation thinking he’s some superstar. Not on my time, mister.
Have you ever wanted to publicly slander a man’s name? Have you actually done it? Anyone post on Don’t Date Him Girl?