Yesterday I was in the mall with my dad, BB, and J so that J could find a trench coat (she bought this one! It was adorable). While wandering around Banana Republic waiting for her I heard someone call my name. I turned around and lo and behold, standing there before me, was my childhood best friend. She looked great, really. She gave me a huge hug and was so excited to see my family. We were inseparable for most of the puberty years; going to movies, prank calling boys, crushing on boys, writing notes in class, the usual. But, then things faded out, and even though we went to high school together, we never really hung out again. Just last week though, she invited me to her annual birthday bash, so I thought it was sort of funny that after all this time we should run into each other in the mall.
We were talking about people we’ve kept in touch with and I asked her about a certain mutual girlfriend of ours who we used to hang out with when she and I were closer. She gave me a funny look and said,
Old Friend: Oh, we sort of didn’t talk much after the falling out.
Miss March: (astonished) Oh! What falling out?
Old Friend: You know…in 7th grade.
Miss March: (doubly astonished) Wow, I didn’t realize that was such a big deal.
Old Friend: Don’t you remember pulling me aside on the overnight field trip and telling me that they [the girl and the guy friend who we adored] broke up and I was so happy?
While I do remember that very well, I also remember all of us hanging out through 8th grade, having a lot of good times, and no hard feelings. What happened was this: my old friend and I hung out in a group with about eight kids. One of the boys was new to the school, and adorable (we all thought) but he is/was sort of dense, and obviously not ready to date at 12 years old. One of our girl friends in the group thought she was more mature than us and asked him out; they “dated” for some time and then she “dumped” him on an overnight field trip. We were pretty devastated that she would go ask him out and claim him. But, I got over my devastation and stayed friends with both of them; I guess Miss Old Friend really never got over those feelings. I guess in her mind, even though we were 12, having this girl take the potential boyfriend away, has marred their friendship for life. The first cut really is the deepest. In my old friend’s mind, this girl possibly ruined not just any potential for dating in the 7th grade, but having a real lasting relationship with this dorky boy (who ended up being Miss March’s best friend and prom date, in the long run) for life. I couldn’t believe she was still letting a “falling out” which occurred at like one in the morning, in the bathroom, at a party, when we were 12, ruin any potential friendship with this girl friend.
Have you ever let something silly that happened when you were younger effect a relationship with someone now that you’re older? I know I do this; there’s no way in hell I’d ever go on a date with any of the boys that were mean to me, even if I was 8 at the time. What about you?