I often find myself giving out relationship advice at all hours of the day; with girl friends having different schedules, boy friends who ask odd questions, and a mom in the dating world, sometimes I find myself repeating the same speeches twice in the same day. I love it, don’t get me wrong. I find relationships fascinating and I want my friends to be happy, so I always enjoy a good advice giving session–but, rarely do I find myself taking much advice from people. I’m sort of an independent spirit, in that regard. I love my friends, and I listen to them, whole-heartily, when they try to help, but often my answers have to come within in order for me to listen 100% to them.
Which is why when I get or read advice from others that seem to work, and I believe in, I try to use it. For example, Gomez is the king of simple emotions for us kids. I remember when I was 16 and dating HSBF, I was all upset because I thought HSBF liked my friend and Gomez found me crying and gave me the advice, “He likes you, he’s allowed to have other friends, but he wouldn’t hurt you like that.” He was right; HSBF had no interest in her, I just wanted more attention. Just the other day while car shopping I was venting about how I really enjoy my time with ColoradoBoy, but since the MusicTeach debacle, I’m now worried that a guy will change completely and cut off all ties with me. Gomez, driving, said, “Do you like him?” I nodded. “Does he like you?” I nodded. “Then stop worrying and forget about it. He likes you. That’s great.” Simple, effective, clear. I’m trying to listen to it and I really did stop worrying about it…mostly. Ha.
“My advice is to go on dates, but don’t get serious. You need to know that there are loads of men out there for the picking (when the time is right). But after a breakup, these guys are merely ‘Feel Goods’, guys to boost your ego and distract you from the pain. Do not rely on them for anything but distraction.”
I think this is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve read about jumping back into the dating world. She’s right on about the way we should approach it and the feelings we should “allow ourselves” to feel.
What’s the best advice you’ve gotten about dating? The worst? Do you find yourself giving out dating advice a lot?