Miss March on Books

Preppy boys always have that other side...

So, one of my teacher friends set/is setting me up with a family member of hers. We’ll call him The Prep. Prep is 23, from a wealthy area, went to a Liberal Arts school and now works for a financial firm. He’s extremely good looking, and from what I can tell, he’s some piece of work. He friended me on Facebook, and within minutes of my accepting his friendship, he sent me an instant message. We’ve been talking online, texting, and talked on the phone a few times in the past few days. It’s a lot of fun. He’s smart, funny, and I do enjoy talking to him. However, at times his Preppy boy-Lacrosse playing-Collar popped personality comes out and he says things in which I have to shake my head and laugh at him. For example, I was browsing his Facebook profile tonight and saw that one of his favorite books was this one. I laughed out loud when I read the title and asked him about it; he said, “it’s a real book! check it out on amazon” which of course, as you can probably guess, Miss March did immediately.

The real title of the book is, She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.” He claims that he keeps it on his bedside table and it’s “actually a really good read” and that he “learned a lot from it!”

I’m not going to write him off because of this. People read interesting books. I mean, my bedside table is a plethora of odd books (including this one, which I highly recommend! And it’s on sale!)

The conversation that followed was the one that made me a bit confused. Obviously, because we were talking about the book, the topic of sex came up. Mind you, my friends, Prep and I have never met in person. We barely talked on the phone. We have yet to have a first date. Thus, what followed was what I considered a weird and slightly inappropriate conversation. One for the books, actually.

In the next few minutes he told me when he last had sex; who he last had sex with; what the book taught him about going down on a girl; why he needs to be relaxed to enjoy sex, and etc.

I’m sure he was just bored and felt like being inappropriate and slightly dirty, so he brought up sex. However, it’s not like I was discussing it back with him. My reactions were along the lines of “uh huh,” “right,” and “i see.” He just kept going; as my English teacher used to say, lots of “verbal diarrhea.”

What’s with these men? Why do they think it’s okay to talk like this before we even know each other? This is one of the problems with dating in this day and age; you form this online relationship with someone and you’re brazen, out there, and cool. Then, you actually meet in person and it’s awkward, too real, and you feel odd. You both know you said stupid-sexual things over the internet, but in the harsh light of the real world, you’re just two human beings, slowly sipping drinks, while wondering how they perceive you and whether they think you’re beautiful/handsome/sexy or not.

Have you ever had a man you’re supposed to meet say something odd to you online?


7 responses to “Miss March on Books

  1. yeah guys think that the internet gives them free range to say anything they please. especially when it comes to sex. then when you see them in person they are like innocent lambs. i feel like the internet creates a lot of problems when it comes to dating; everything is way too easy and dissociated from reality. I’m pretty sure this only happens to me with guys I already know, though.

  2. Oh dear.Funny you should bring this up now.I was going through something similar yesterday.A guy I’ve been talking to lately thinks I’m odd if I don’t want to talk about sex/intimate stuff/my personal life.And refuses to talk about “anything” if I refuse to talk about this? And we haven’t met yet.Will I,now? Given other factors along with this.I think I’ll pass.

  3. As a guy who has said more than his fair share of dumb things online in the past, and who seems to be showing no signs of discontinuing that trend, I’m going to assume the responsibility of providing Prep with a little bit of defense. Men are more likely than women to interpret casual behavior as indicative of sexual interest (yet another reference to Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, Miss March). And, equally as instinctive, we try to distinguish ourselves from our competitors, although that part seems to be more universal during courtship. The double-whammy of not merely sex, but the ultimate criterion for male sexual efficacy, his ability to pleasure a woman, isn’t just a friendly topic; this is standing naked in front of the firing squad. And for guys, when this topic meanders its way into a conversation with even only marginally prospective sexual partners, you go big or go home… at times quite literally (or at least, that’s how it seems in our heads).

  4. It’s the false intimacy – kiss of death! I try to make it a rule not to get TOO in depth with people about sex or politics or family or religion before I’ve actually met them. But recently I met this guy online and he was out of town working for two weeks so I had no irl access to him. We spent two weeks constantly talking to each other online and on the phone. And we got to know each other waaaay too well. And then you see each other finally and it’s like “will you be my insta-boyfriend?”

  5. everyone is a little loose lipped when it comes to the internet. I think in this day and age men are told that they should never show insecurity and boast sexuality like a prize, hence the verbal vomit. Trust me, I know all about Steph’s dilemma of being graphic online and then acting like an innocent lamb in person. It’s like dual personalities: 0ne for the internet, one for in person!

  6. Kind of amazing though. Are you still going to go on a date with him? I vote YES just for the follow up post!

  7. My friends boyfriend has that book and I browsed through it once to see what it was like. Kinda boring in my opinion.

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