Category Archives: Adulthood

Miss March on LAFS

Happy Thanksgiving, readers!

Well, I do apologize for the lack of posts lately. Besides teaching, I’m a graphic design consultant, as well as run two businesses and just started up another venture; I’m a tad busy. And, if you couldn’t already tell I, a) have a problem saying no to people when it comes to helping with events, and b) obviously don’t like any free time on my hands.

Anyhow, ColoradoBoy is officially gone. He went back to CO for a month and isn’t really even sure if he’s coming back. Everyone keeps asking me how I’m doing with him gone, and I just laugh. Yes, we dated for four months, but it didn’t really feel like we were dating. We’re friends, first and foremost; he wasn’t ready for anything serious and God knows I’m not either, so we simply had a good time together. Do I miss him? Sure, I miss having a friend around. Do I really miss him? No. He was impossible to contact in between our times hanging out, his sister hated me, and he kept switching plans towards the end because said sister made plans which usurped our plans. I think it was really important I met him. He tried very hard to grow with me and he did learn a lot about relationships in our time together. He’s a great guy, and I think it’s cute and funny we met on Match.com–neither one of us are really online dating people (despite my past experience with it). I wish him well, and I wish him love; I do hope we stay in touch, he’s a well-meaning and good soul, just has some growing up to do.

Romeo and Juliet were said to have had LAFS.

This week I have seen and heard of two cases of “love at first sight.” Remember my Aunt’s friend K, who is like an aunt to me? She met some guy at a concert, it was totally love at first sight, and now, a month later, they are talking about spending the rest of their life together. I saw them both at T-giving yesterday and she couldn’t have been glowing any stronger, she looked gorgeous, in love, and totally over the moon. The look he was giving her was priceless. I couldn’t be happier for her! Another family member spent some time in Brazil last year and met a girl one night; well, though they only met one night, they fell for each other and have kept up a long distance relationship for about six months now. They’ll be seeing each other again soon, and there’s even marriage talk!

Okay, a part of me (the cynical part) doesn’t want to believe any of this. I mean, how can you fall in love with someone before you even know if they snore or not? Right. However, if you don’t already know, I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I really do believe that sometimes, once in a blue moon, two souls are meant to be together. I don’t think everyone will experience LAFS (love at first sight), nor should they, but some people, I believe, are really and truly meant to be together. Life can be very mysterious at times, and sometimes you don’t know the reason for things until you look at life in retrospect; perhaps you don’t realize it, but your path is leading you to your soul-mate (lover or friend). While it’s easy to be skeptical and judge, I think we have to also keep in mind that true love and LAFS does happen sometimes (and it could happen to someone you know!).

What are your thoughts on Love At First Sight?

PS. Update from T soon! (she doesn’t know it yet, but she’ll be updating us on something cool!)

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Miss March Does a Quickie

I spend the afternoon with my ten year old half-sister, last weekend, and while shopping and talking about The Boys on the Stoop (she’s a mature 10!), this conversation ensued:

Sis: Why is it that all the boys you date always….

Miss March: …leave?

Sis: Yeah. Well, they don’t leave you, as much as they just…move away.

Me: Point taken.

I think that pretty much sums up my week. Any convo-snippets sum up your week?

Miss March Says “Hey You”?

We call him Casey because he's the younger brother and looks somewhat like junior Mr. Affleck!

So, I can’t remember if we ever discussed Casey or not, but suddenly, he’s reemerged. Casey, named for Ben Affleck’s little brother, is the younger brother of my Uncle’s best friend. Casey is 29, has a great job, an interesting life, and was set up by my Uncle to go out with me on a “pity date” (which wasn’t really a pity date at all) in August this past summer. The funny thing about Casey is that our lives have had the same trajectory; we went to the same middle school, same high school, and lived in the same town our whole lives, but never met. I’m super tight with his older brother, my Uncle’s best bud, because my Uncle is only 10 years older than me and more like a big brother than an uncle.

Anyway, we went out on this great date in early August. We laughed, we got along, we clicked in a lot of ways. We were on the date so long (why do I have epic dates?) that we closed the restaurant down. He was impressed that I’m an entrepreneur, and I think he was impressed that although I’m a tad younger than he is, I could hold my own. Overall, I don’t think he expected to have such a good time. We facebook messaged a little after that; a few texts about meeting up, which never happened, and then the ball was dropped. I chocked it up to the fact that there was too much pressure if anything ever did happen with us; our families are close, it would be a huge deal if anything actually happened with us, and I’m sure he realized that too and that’s why he dropped the ball.

Well, last night, I’m getting ready to go out with CB, and all of the sudden I get a facebook message from Casey, “Hey you! How’s business?”

Well, it only took you three months to respond.

I gave it a day and responded with a usual “life’s good” response. Mentioned nothing of seeing him.

But, here’s my question, what’s with the “hey you”? I, personally, find, in general, that “hey you” is very intimate, slightly sexy. It’s like “hey, I’m cornering you out to say hello and thinking just of you.” “Hey you” is way different than just “hey.” “Hey” is so friendly and personable, but when you add the “you” to it it becomes more flirtatious and sexual; am I wrong here? What do we think of the “hey you” in general? Innocuous or flirtatious or what?

Miss March Loves Deli Food

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately–with grades and comments due, things are sort of nutty in crazy-town for Miss March.

CB and I HAVE to get kosher deli food before he leaves!

So, I saw CB last night (after a week where we were both away) and had a great time. He’s going back home for a while soon, so we went over the list of things we “want to accomplish” before he goes away. This list includes going out for kosher food, attending a hockey game, going go-kart racing, bowling, making dinner, and some other meaningless things like helping me pick out a GPS. He is indeed coming back in January, but a part of me feels like it’s ending when he goes away. A month is a long time for people who have only been seeing each other for close to three months (though, even three months with him feels like a great accomplishment! Remember when he was just a name on my Match.com screen? Ah, the good ol’ days!). I am really going to miss him. I know he’s not the one for me, but he’s a great guy, and I do love spending time with him.

Anyway, as I was getting in my car yesterday I said to him, “let’s go on a date soon!” (By the by, let me get the distinction right for you, as he puts it, we are people who “hang out and go on dates” but are not dating. Right-o.) As the words came out of my mouth I realized that I don’t need to go out on a “date” with him because of two things:

a) My favorite times with him are lying around watching Rescue Me, Arrested, Scrubs, and How I Met Your Mother. It’s at these times that we end up having semi-serious life discussions, our goofiest (love the word goofiest) times, and most sincere moments.

b) Neither of us have the money to spend to go out to dinner or The City or what not.

Yet, I do still like going out and doing new things. The museum near us has laser-light shows which may be fun; we could go apple-picking (though I mentioned this and he said, “I don’t really get it. What’s the point? Where’s the fun? Can I climb the trees?”). I need some good ideas for super-cheap (see: FREE) dates. While I love lying around and being silly, sometimes putting on something other than sweats (though, I must be super comfortable with him that I am happy wearing sweats around him…on a regular basis) and going out and doing something new. I find doing new things together super romantic; you’re both in the same boat, trying new things, seeing new sights. Part of me really wanted to go away for the weekend with him. I think we could both use the time away and I’d love to just be away with him and no distractions. Yet, we have no money to go away….Ideas on cheap dates? Fun things to do within ones home?

Question I’ve been getting a lot lately: are you seeing anyone else? Sure. Sort of. I don’t consider myself “seeing” CB–we’re friends, albeit, special friends. I’ve been talking to The Prep a lot. But, as we discussed, it’s been so hard to see him (uh, anywhere except train stations, apparently). He’s a very sweet guy, but I’m not sure about how realistic dating him would be.

Speaking of, I canceled my Match.com account. I have like five more days on it. I’m really okay with this. I’ll still have my account, but I won’t be able to get emails or anything. T is trying a few new dating websites which she’ll update us on soon!

Anything new in your life? Cheap date ideas? Rants? Raves? Do tell!

Miss March Reads The Times

Check out this hysterical article on “Mail Goggles” from Google. It’s a program designed to test your motor skills before you drunkingly send an email to an ex between the hours of 10pm-4am. And, best part, they even quote our buddy Ryan from Single-ish!

Miss March is a Country Mouse

He's a City mouse, and I'm a Country mouse! What are these mice to do?!

So, a few posts back I quoted a friend of mine who said, “As far as I’m concerned, dating a guy in The City is like dating a guy in another country.”

She doesn’t mean that the people are different, or the dialect is hard to get used to, she means that it’s physically hard to see a man when they live in The City and you in the the country. First of all, I work a lot; if I’m not teaching, I’m grading papers, emailing parents, working on final grades. Second of all, to go into The City is close to twenty bucks round trip; I don’t really have the money to pop in-and-out at my leisure.

The Prep has been begging me to come into The City to see him. I keep telling him that I would, if I could, but he caught me at a really busy time in my life. I just started a new job, I have all these “rookie-teacher” responsibilities; I don’t have time on the weeknights to go see him, and recently, even my weekends are full of school stuff.

Sure, I like him. But, this is becoming sort of aggravating. We’re talking online and he tells me he asked a bunch of friends about “our situation”–his family (um, yes, we went on one date and he asked his family about me…) told him to court me (like that answer!); but he said, of one of his friend’s answers, “she doesn’t really think you want to see me because if you did, you would have.” I was really pissed when I read that. I made it very clear that a) I’m not looking for a serious relationship, but just to meet people; b) I’m busy; and c) that I do like him! I email him every morning, we text all day, I send him funny little quotes from school…it’s not like I’m ignoring him, or anything close to it.

Furthermore, it’s getting on my nerves that every time we talk he asks when I’m “coming in.” How about just let it lie for a few minutes and then let’s see what my plans are. Or better yet…how about you come visit ME?! What a novel and revolutionary idea!

I find myself reassuring him that I like him more and more, while he’s wondering why I can’t just come see him, all the while I’m getting more fed up. The more he asks, the more I don’t want to see him. It just makes it a bigger and bigger deal each time he asks. I feel bad, guilty, and sorry for something I didn’t even do!

I just found it odd that he asked people about what to do…the answer is pretty clear: you come visit me, if I won’t visit you. It’s the writing on the wall that must be covered by graffiti in that big City of his! Ha.

Miss March’s Sunday Meltdown

He's going back to his native land, and I can't stop crying. Help!

CB told me last night that he’s going back to Colorado for a month. When he comes back, after that month, there’s a huge chance he’ll be joining the military and therefore, I won’t see him for a long, long, time.

I knew about the military stuff. He told me that right off that bat, when we first met. But, for some reason, as we were driving last night and he nonchalantly told me he’s staying in Colorado from Thanksgiving to New Years, I nearly burst into tears.

And now I still can’t stop crying.

I don’t get it.

The facts are these:

I think he’s great.

I adore being with him.

We have an amazing time together.

He’s smart, calm, sweet, safe, and makes me happy.

But, I also know he’s not the man of my dreams. He’s not the person I’m supposed to end up with (I just know; I knew this about Admiral Adama too). In a way, by him leaving, it’s going to free up my world a little for other men; however, I’m really happy with this friendship CB and I have. It’s nice to have someone nearby to stop over and see, and hang out with. Yesterday we went bowling and acted like kids and had the time of our lives. We’re content to sit and watch TV and laugh, or go out and people watch, or discuss politics (he’s still unsure on who he’s voting for….eeks).

On paper, I can see why I’m crying, at least a little–but, what the hell is with this wave of sadness? When I met Admiral Adama I fell (granted, I was 19) head over heels for him. I knew I loved him (in the largest capacity I could love) right after we started dating. It was just this feeling that came over me; that gut feeling where you know you love someone. But, with CB, I have none of that. Maybe I’m just sad to lose one of the nicest friends I’ve made in a long time.

But, something tells me that there’s a deeper, bigger, issue here. I mean, he told me he was leaving for a month, and I said I was sad and would miss him and he said yeah, the same. We had a great rest of the night together, but right before I was set to leave, I nearly fell apart. I cried the whole way home. It’s not like he broke up with me! It’s not even like he’s leaving tomorrow. Why am I still crying?

I lay in bed for a long time this morning thinking about the “bigger issue” here. Do I miss my grandfather? Am I scared about my future? Am I scared of being lonely with no CB house to run to? Yes to all these. But, why the tears and sobbing last night? We’ve only been “hanging out” two and a half months!

And this could be part of the issue too: I know we’re friends, but I’m not really sure how exactly he feels about me. He’s a very calm, unemotional person. I know he cares about me. He sure enjoys being with me and kissing me; but, I want to know what’s going through his head. Sometimes we get nostalgic and cutesy and say we’re “dating” and talk about our “first date,” but most of the time we just say we’re friends and hanging out. It’s confusing, perhaps?

Readers, you’ve been following me a while now, reading about my life and such, so, in your opinion, what’s with all these tears? Is it simple enough that I care about a man and he’s leaving and that sucks or is there more to it?