Miss March on Modern Nature

Happy November, everyone!

First of all, thank you for the great cheap date suggestions. However CB’s been acting a little odd lately, so we’ll see how many of these get done before he’s off West. Who knows!

Before I start in on Song Lyric Saturday I wanted to share a phenomonen that made me laugh. Ever since I started dating at sixteen years old, whenever I had a steady boyfriend, my mother would refer to him as my “friend.” Even with the Admiral, who I dated for close to four years, she would introduce him or refer to him as “Miss March’s friend.” I didn’t mind it because I knew it was just her (and my grandma’s) style. However, when I started “dating” CB, I made it very clear to my mother that we weren’t “together”–we were friends, and he was not my boyfriend. Cut to the other night, my mother was at the doctor with me and said something to the doctor about my “boyfriend.” I whipped my head around to my mom and shook my head. “Uh, he’s not–” Mommy just cut me off and kept on talking. I laughed inside my head. Of course she would refer to the guy I made it clear was most certainly not my boyfriend AS my boyfriend. This only got awkward when I mentioned going on dates and the doctor said, “A little birdy told me that you have a boyfriend! How does he feel about you dating?” Um, he feels fine because HE’S. NOT. MY. BOYFRIEND. I know exactly why my mother does this, too. When there is a guy I’m serious about, she doesn’t want to add to the seriousness of it and inadvertenly push me into getting more serious with him because she refers to him as my boyfriend. However, when there’s a guy she knows I’m no where close to being serious about, she feels it’s safe to refer to him as my boyfriend because it’s not going to sway me into becoming more serious with him. It’s a very confusing theory. Do your mothers do anything like this?

Sondre Lerche is super adorable, no?

Today’s song lyrics come from the Dan In Real Life soundtrack. The whole soundtrack is original songs by Sondre Lerche and many of them are duets with amazing women singers, like Regina Spektor. Not only do I love the movie Dan In Real Life, but I adore Sondre Lerche. Fun fact: years ago J and I went to see Jason Mraz and Sondre opened for him. He’s very, very cute in person. These lyrics are to the song, “Modern Nature.” I love this song because of this one line, “We’ll just have to wait and see, if things go right, we’re meant to be.” I feel like I adhere to this belief a lot of the time; everyone is searching aimless for their “soulmate” but you may not know someone is your soulmate until you live a life with them and look back and realize, hey that worked, we must be meant to be!

Modern Nature

The moment has come to face the truth
I’m wide awake and so are you
Do you have a clue what this is (I don’t know)
Are you everything that I’ve missed? (I don’t hope so)
We’ll just have to wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right, we’re meant to be

The surface is gone. I scratched it off
We made some plans. I let them go
Do you have the slightest idea (No I don’t)
Why the world is bright when you’re near
Stay awhile and wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right, we’re meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolour dreams
Forget modern nature
this is how it’s meant to be

The time is here for being straight
It’s not too early and never too late
People say I should watch my pace (What do they know?)
“Think how you spend all your days” (They all say so)
They’ll just have to wait and see (Wait and see)
If things go right they’ll have to agree

Happy Saturday, everyone. Anyone got any good plans?

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Miss March Loves Deli Food

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately–with grades and comments due, things are sort of nutty in crazy-town for Miss March.

CB and I HAVE to get kosher deli food before he leaves!

So, I saw CB last night (after a week where we were both away) and had a great time. He’s going back home for a while soon, so we went over the list of things we “want to accomplish” before he goes away. This list includes going out for kosher food, attending a hockey game, going go-kart racing, bowling, making dinner, and some other meaningless things like helping me pick out a GPS. He is indeed coming back in January, but a part of me feels like it’s ending when he goes away. A month is a long time for people who have only been seeing each other for close to three months (though, even three months with him feels like a great accomplishment! Remember when he was just a name on my Match.com screen? Ah, the good ol’ days!). I am really going to miss him. I know he’s not the one for me, but he’s a great guy, and I do love spending time with him.

Anyway, as I was getting in my car yesterday I said to him, “let’s go on a date soon!” (By the by, let me get the distinction right for you, as he puts it, we are people who “hang out and go on dates” but are not dating. Right-o.) As the words came out of my mouth I realized that I don’t need to go out on a “date” with him because of two things:

a) My favorite times with him are lying around watching Rescue Me, Arrested, Scrubs, and How I Met Your Mother. It’s at these times that we end up having semi-serious life discussions, our goofiest (love the word goofiest) times, and most sincere moments.

b) Neither of us have the money to spend to go out to dinner or The City or what not.

Yet, I do still like going out and doing new things. The museum near us has laser-light shows which may be fun; we could go apple-picking (though I mentioned this and he said, “I don’t really get it. What’s the point? Where’s the fun? Can I climb the trees?”). I need some good ideas for super-cheap (see: FREE) dates. While I love lying around and being silly, sometimes putting on something other than sweats (though, I must be super comfortable with him that I am happy wearing sweats around him…on a regular basis) and going out and doing something new. I find doing new things together super romantic; you’re both in the same boat, trying new things, seeing new sights. Part of me really wanted to go away for the weekend with him. I think we could both use the time away and I’d love to just be away with him and no distractions. Yet, we have no money to go away….Ideas on cheap dates? Fun things to do within ones home?

Question I’ve been getting a lot lately: are you seeing anyone else? Sure. Sort of. I don’t consider myself “seeing” CB–we’re friends, albeit, special friends. I’ve been talking to The Prep a lot. But, as we discussed, it’s been so hard to see him (uh, anywhere except train stations, apparently). He’s a very sweet guy, but I’m not sure about how realistic dating him would be.

Speaking of, I canceled my Match.com account. I have like five more days on it. I’m really okay with this. I’ll still have my account, but I won’t be able to get emails or anything. T is trying a few new dating websites which she’ll update us on soon!

Anything new in your life? Cheap date ideas? Rants? Raves? Do tell!

Miss March Believes in Signs?

I think I’m through with Match.com.

I clicked my “who viewed you” button and saw that someone from my high school had viewed me. Awkward.

I’m taking this as a sign. I’m through with the online dating thing for a while. It was awesome this summer, and I met so many interesting men, but it takes a certain amount of effort and dedication that I just don’t have right now.

In other news; you ever have times when you see certain names pop-up in your life over and over again?

His name was on a gameshow tonight. Weird.

One of the Boys on the Stoop‘s last name keeps coming into my life. It’s not an unusual name, but he’s only the second person in my life that I know with that last name. I’ve been seeing it everywhere: on my textbooks, in movies, and then, while I was working out and watching TV tonight, it was an answer on a game show. I don’t really know what it means, except that perhaps I’m too superstitious or the name is more common than I once thought? I’m not kidding when I say that I see it somewhere new every day…or, perhaps I’m just noticing it more now because of him? Did this ever happen to you?

Any new signs in your life lately?

Miss March Reads The Times

Check out this hysterical article on “Mail Goggles” from Google. It’s a program designed to test your motor skills before you drunkingly send an email to an ex between the hours of 10pm-4am. And, best part, they even quote our buddy Ryan from Single-ish!

Miss March Gets Laughed at by The Universe

Last night was one for the books. It’s what we, here at Miss March land, call a “movie-night”–this would only have happened to either Miss March, or a fictional character in a movie. What happened, might you ask?

Irony: Full steam ahead!

Yesterday CB and I went into the city to meet up with J, A, and a bunch of my college friends for one of my best girl’s birthday. It was great seeing everyone, and I had a fantastic time, but, because I had taught all day, by the time 10:00 came around I was beat. We bid adieu to the crowd and CB and I headed to the train station.

By this time it was almost 11:00. The next train was at 11:09. Something in the back of my head clicked and I remembered a text message from The Prep from earlier that night, “heading back to my parents house at around midnight.” That’s funny, I thought to myself, I wonder what time train HE’S taking; but I figured he was probably still out with his friends and would take the train after us. We go down to the train platform and my phone buzzes.

Text message. From The Prep: “on the 11:09 home!”

My face must have gone white because CB looked at me funny. I look up and right there, standing, waiting for the next train car (with his back, THANK GOD, turned to me) was The Prep. I grabbed CB’s hand and said, “just follow me.” We walked down about 6 train cars and he looked at me and said, “Uh, what’s going on?” I sort of did my oh-shit-I-have-to-tell-the-truth grimace and said, “Well, there’s this guy and he likes me and he’s been begging me to come see him in The City and he’s, um, on this train. Ha?” CB looked at me and started to hysterically laugh, “Why do we always see boys you date on our dates?!” He thought it was all too funny.

I, however, didn’t think it was so funny. I prayed that I didn’t run into The Prep on that train ride. Not that I’m over the moon about him, but I knew running into him, while I was with another man, would ruin all chances with him. I felt bad, for some reason. I shouldn’t have. I was really happy to be with CB, and I had made no plans to see The Prep, but I felt like he’s been begging me to see him, and here I was with someone else. “I’m too nice,” I said to CB, “I think it has something to do with watching my little brother grow up and feeling too much for men.” I explained. It’s true. I am too nice, most times, when it comes to men. I worry too much about their feelings. Ha.

Anyway, like the other CB (Carrie Bradshaw) says, “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

Any ironic stories from your Friday night?

Miss March is a Country Mouse

He's a City mouse, and I'm a Country mouse! What are these mice to do?!

So, a few posts back I quoted a friend of mine who said, “As far as I’m concerned, dating a guy in The City is like dating a guy in another country.”

She doesn’t mean that the people are different, or the dialect is hard to get used to, she means that it’s physically hard to see a man when they live in The City and you in the the country. First of all, I work a lot; if I’m not teaching, I’m grading papers, emailing parents, working on final grades. Second of all, to go into The City is close to twenty bucks round trip; I don’t really have the money to pop in-and-out at my leisure.

The Prep has been begging me to come into The City to see him. I keep telling him that I would, if I could, but he caught me at a really busy time in my life. I just started a new job, I have all these “rookie-teacher” responsibilities; I don’t have time on the weeknights to go see him, and recently, even my weekends are full of school stuff.

Sure, I like him. But, this is becoming sort of aggravating. We’re talking online and he tells me he asked a bunch of friends about “our situation”–his family (um, yes, we went on one date and he asked his family about me…) told him to court me (like that answer!); but he said, of one of his friend’s answers, “she doesn’t really think you want to see me because if you did, you would have.” I was really pissed when I read that. I made it very clear that a) I’m not looking for a serious relationship, but just to meet people; b) I’m busy; and c) that I do like him! I email him every morning, we text all day, I send him funny little quotes from school…it’s not like I’m ignoring him, or anything close to it.

Furthermore, it’s getting on my nerves that every time we talk he asks when I’m “coming in.” How about just let it lie for a few minutes and then let’s see what my plans are. Or better yet…how about you come visit ME?! What a novel and revolutionary idea!

I find myself reassuring him that I like him more and more, while he’s wondering why I can’t just come see him, all the while I’m getting more fed up. The more he asks, the more I don’t want to see him. It just makes it a bigger and bigger deal each time he asks. I feel bad, guilty, and sorry for something I didn’t even do!

I just found it odd that he asked people about what to do…the answer is pretty clear: you come visit me, if I won’t visit you. It’s the writing on the wall that must be covered by graffiti in that big City of his! Ha.

Miss March’s Sunday Meltdown

He's going back to his native land, and I can't stop crying. Help!

CB told me last night that he’s going back to Colorado for a month. When he comes back, after that month, there’s a huge chance he’ll be joining the military and therefore, I won’t see him for a long, long, time.

I knew about the military stuff. He told me that right off that bat, when we first met. But, for some reason, as we were driving last night and he nonchalantly told me he’s staying in Colorado from Thanksgiving to New Years, I nearly burst into tears.

And now I still can’t stop crying.

I don’t get it.

The facts are these:

I think he’s great.

I adore being with him.

We have an amazing time together.

He’s smart, calm, sweet, safe, and makes me happy.

But, I also know he’s not the man of my dreams. He’s not the person I’m supposed to end up with (I just know; I knew this about Admiral Adama too). In a way, by him leaving, it’s going to free up my world a little for other men; however, I’m really happy with this friendship CB and I have. It’s nice to have someone nearby to stop over and see, and hang out with. Yesterday we went bowling and acted like kids and had the time of our lives. We’re content to sit and watch TV and laugh, or go out and people watch, or discuss politics (he’s still unsure on who he’s voting for….eeks).

On paper, I can see why I’m crying, at least a little–but, what the hell is with this wave of sadness? When I met Admiral Adama I fell (granted, I was 19) head over heels for him. I knew I loved him (in the largest capacity I could love) right after we started dating. It was just this feeling that came over me; that gut feeling where you know you love someone. But, with CB, I have none of that. Maybe I’m just sad to lose one of the nicest friends I’ve made in a long time.

But, something tells me that there’s a deeper, bigger, issue here. I mean, he told me he was leaving for a month, and I said I was sad and would miss him and he said yeah, the same. We had a great rest of the night together, but right before I was set to leave, I nearly fell apart. I cried the whole way home. It’s not like he broke up with me! It’s not even like he’s leaving tomorrow. Why am I still crying?

I lay in bed for a long time this morning thinking about the “bigger issue” here. Do I miss my grandfather? Am I scared about my future? Am I scared of being lonely with no CB house to run to? Yes to all these. But, why the tears and sobbing last night? We’ve only been “hanging out” two and a half months!

And this could be part of the issue too: I know we’re friends, but I’m not really sure how exactly he feels about me. He’s a very calm, unemotional person. I know he cares about me. He sure enjoys being with me and kissing me; but, I want to know what’s going through his head. Sometimes we get nostalgic and cutesy and say we’re “dating” and talk about our “first date,” but most of the time we just say we’re friends and hanging out. It’s confusing, perhaps?

Readers, you’ve been following me a while now, reading about my life and such, so, in your opinion, what’s with all these tears? Is it simple enough that I care about a man and he’s leaving and that sucks or is there more to it?