Tag Archives: Dating

Miss March on LAFS

Happy Thanksgiving, readers!

Well, I do apologize for the lack of posts lately. Besides teaching, I’m a graphic design consultant, as well as run two businesses and just started up another venture; I’m a tad busy. And, if you couldn’t already tell I, a) have a problem saying no to people when it comes to helping with events, and b) obviously don’t like any free time on my hands.

Anyhow, ColoradoBoy is officially gone. He went back to CO for a month and isn’t really even sure if he’s coming back. Everyone keeps asking me how I’m doing with him gone, and I just laugh. Yes, we dated for four months, but it didn’t really feel like we were dating. We’re friends, first and foremost; he wasn’t ready for anything serious and God knows I’m not either, so we simply had a good time together. Do I miss him? Sure, I miss having a friend around. Do I really miss him? No. He was impossible to contact in between our times hanging out, his sister hated me, and he kept switching plans towards the end because said sister made plans which usurped our plans. I think it was really important I met him. He tried very hard to grow with me and he did learn a lot about relationships in our time together. He’s a great guy, and I think it’s cute and funny we met on Match.com–neither one of us are really online dating people (despite my past experience with it). I wish him well, and I wish him love; I do hope we stay in touch, he’s a well-meaning and good soul, just has some growing up to do.

Romeo and Juliet were said to have had LAFS.

This week I have seen and heard of two cases of “love at first sight.” Remember my Aunt’s friend K, who is like an aunt to me? She met some guy at a concert, it was totally love at first sight, and now, a month later, they are talking about spending the rest of their life together. I saw them both at T-giving yesterday and she couldn’t have been glowing any stronger, she looked gorgeous, in love, and totally over the moon. The look he was giving her was priceless. I couldn’t be happier for her! Another family member spent some time in Brazil last year and met a girl one night; well, though they only met one night, they fell for each other and have kept up a long distance relationship for about six months now. They’ll be seeing each other again soon, and there’s even marriage talk!

Okay, a part of me (the cynical part) doesn’t want to believe any of this. I mean, how can you fall in love with someone before you even know if they snore or not? Right. However, if you don’t already know, I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I really do believe that sometimes, once in a blue moon, two souls are meant to be together. I don’t think everyone will experience LAFS (love at first sight), nor should they, but some people, I believe, are really and truly meant to be together. Life can be very mysterious at times, and sometimes you don’t know the reason for things until you look at life in retrospect; perhaps you don’t realize it, but your path is leading you to your soul-mate (lover or friend). While it’s easy to be skeptical and judge, I think we have to also keep in mind that true love and LAFS does happen sometimes (and it could happen to someone you know!).

What are your thoughts on Love At First Sight?

PS. Update from T soon! (she doesn’t know it yet, but she’ll be updating us on something cool!)

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Miss March Does a Quickie

I spend the afternoon with my ten year old half-sister, last weekend, and while shopping and talking about The Boys on the Stoop (she’s a mature 10!), this conversation ensued:

Sis: Why is it that all the boys you date always….

Miss March: …leave?

Sis: Yeah. Well, they don’t leave you, as much as they just…move away.

Me: Point taken.

I think that pretty much sums up my week. Any convo-snippets sum up your week?

Miss March Says “Hey You”?

We call him Casey because he's the younger brother and looks somewhat like junior Mr. Affleck!

So, I can’t remember if we ever discussed Casey or not, but suddenly, he’s reemerged. Casey, named for Ben Affleck’s little brother, is the younger brother of my Uncle’s best friend. Casey is 29, has a great job, an interesting life, and was set up by my Uncle to go out with me on a “pity date” (which wasn’t really a pity date at all) in August this past summer. The funny thing about Casey is that our lives have had the same trajectory; we went to the same middle school, same high school, and lived in the same town our whole lives, but never met. I’m super tight with his older brother, my Uncle’s best bud, because my Uncle is only 10 years older than me and more like a big brother than an uncle.

Anyway, we went out on this great date in early August. We laughed, we got along, we clicked in a lot of ways. We were on the date so long (why do I have epic dates?) that we closed the restaurant down. He was impressed that I’m an entrepreneur, and I think he was impressed that although I’m a tad younger than he is, I could hold my own. Overall, I don’t think he expected to have such a good time. We facebook messaged a little after that; a few texts about meeting up, which never happened, and then the ball was dropped. I chocked it up to the fact that there was too much pressure if anything ever did happen with us; our families are close, it would be a huge deal if anything actually happened with us, and I’m sure he realized that too and that’s why he dropped the ball.

Well, last night, I’m getting ready to go out with CB, and all of the sudden I get a facebook message from Casey, “Hey you! How’s business?”

Well, it only took you three months to respond.

I gave it a day and responded with a usual “life’s good” response. Mentioned nothing of seeing him.

But, here’s my question, what’s with the “hey you”? I, personally, find, in general, that “hey you” is very intimate, slightly sexy. It’s like “hey, I’m cornering you out to say hello and thinking just of you.” “Hey you” is way different than just “hey.” “Hey” is so friendly and personable, but when you add the “you” to it it becomes more flirtatious and sexual; am I wrong here? What do we think of the “hey you” in general? Innocuous or flirtatious or what?

Miss March: T Writes from the Battlelines!

Hey all, special treat today! T‘s been online dating and I’ve asked her to share here with us, her first experience meeting a man she met online. I’ll be back in the next few days! Thanks T!

I have a confession.

Well, I guess, a couple. The first is that I am currently watching the My Super Sweet Sixteen Movie. Don’t judge me!  The second is much bigger, and only a few of my closest friends know.

I am a registered user on not just one, but two online dating sites. I have a profile on each. After getting my heart broken about a year and a half ago, dating a really great guy for about 4 months somewhere in there (who unfortunately could never be more than a rebound, though I did care for him very much and wish him all the best), this is the first time I’m really coming to terms with the idea that I am actually, finally ready for a relationship.  However I work in a creative field a little bit void of straight men, and thus… dating sites. Which I swore I would never do, after a jarring experience last September.

From this, I met TheLawyer.  He is the only one I have had a date with so far. Let me tell you a tale… gather ’round, friends of Miss March.

If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you – while laughing – that I have a type. I like them maybe a few pounds overweight (negotiable), glasses, a big smile, bearded/stubbled (which is funny because I hate facial hair typically, however every man I’ve loved has had it!), and an intellectual.  So when Lawyer messaged me, it seemed like a hit. He was funny, a bit of a geek about music, older, glasses, stubbled, and smart. A slightly bearded bespectacled intellectual. After exchanging some e-mails and a few flirty gchats, I happily agreed to meet him for a drik after work on Wednesday.

It started off well enough – he set the place for where we’d meet.  In my group, I am typically the one making arrangements, so it felt great to take a break from it. I met up with him, and on a purely (and ashamedly) superficial level – he’s so short. My height. And I’m little. The place he found was totally packed, so we crossed the street to a sort of more upscale place. He was impossible to talk to in person, I felt like I had to pull the conversation out of him. However, I eventually got him started on a topic he was interested in – the neighborhoods of Brooklyn. Or, more specifically, the transportation benefits of the various neighborhoods in Brooklyn. He listed every bus and subway that goes to Brooklyn Heights, and making sure to mention that was where he lived with his ex girlfriend… and he knew how long ago they had broken up to the day. Literally. He was very condescending about the fact that I was younger than him, and when I tried to talk about economic policy with him, he dismissed my ideas because I was young. He finished by telling me that he’s been on the Atkins diet for deveral years (despite that he’s very thin) and proceeded to give me tips for how to do it myself.

So, he turned out to kind of be an asshole. I’ve been talking to a couple other guys, and hopefully my dates with them will be more promising. However, as my first real attempt back out there, newly healed heart and mind… it was a little jarring. Will they all be so surly?? Please say no!

Miss March Loves Deli Food

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately–with grades and comments due, things are sort of nutty in crazy-town for Miss March.

CB and I HAVE to get kosher deli food before he leaves!

So, I saw CB last night (after a week where we were both away) and had a great time. He’s going back home for a while soon, so we went over the list of things we “want to accomplish” before he goes away. This list includes going out for kosher food, attending a hockey game, going go-kart racing, bowling, making dinner, and some other meaningless things like helping me pick out a GPS. He is indeed coming back in January, but a part of me feels like it’s ending when he goes away. A month is a long time for people who have only been seeing each other for close to three months (though, even three months with him feels like a great accomplishment! Remember when he was just a name on my Match.com screen? Ah, the good ol’ days!). I am really going to miss him. I know he’s not the one for me, but he’s a great guy, and I do love spending time with him.

Anyway, as I was getting in my car yesterday I said to him, “let’s go on a date soon!” (By the by, let me get the distinction right for you, as he puts it, we are people who “hang out and go on dates” but are not dating. Right-o.) As the words came out of my mouth I realized that I don’t need to go out on a “date” with him because of two things:

a) My favorite times with him are lying around watching Rescue Me, Arrested, Scrubs, and How I Met Your Mother. It’s at these times that we end up having semi-serious life discussions, our goofiest (love the word goofiest) times, and most sincere moments.

b) Neither of us have the money to spend to go out to dinner or The City or what not.

Yet, I do still like going out and doing new things. The museum near us has laser-light shows which may be fun; we could go apple-picking (though I mentioned this and he said, “I don’t really get it. What’s the point? Where’s the fun? Can I climb the trees?”). I need some good ideas for super-cheap (see: FREE) dates. While I love lying around and being silly, sometimes putting on something other than sweats (though, I must be super comfortable with him that I am happy wearing sweats around him…on a regular basis) and going out and doing something new. I find doing new things together super romantic; you’re both in the same boat, trying new things, seeing new sights. Part of me really wanted to go away for the weekend with him. I think we could both use the time away and I’d love to just be away with him and no distractions. Yet, we have no money to go away….Ideas on cheap dates? Fun things to do within ones home?

Question I’ve been getting a lot lately: are you seeing anyone else? Sure. Sort of. I don’t consider myself “seeing” CB–we’re friends, albeit, special friends. I’ve been talking to The Prep a lot. But, as we discussed, it’s been so hard to see him (uh, anywhere except train stations, apparently). He’s a very sweet guy, but I’m not sure about how realistic dating him would be.

Speaking of, I canceled my Match.com account. I have like five more days on it. I’m really okay with this. I’ll still have my account, but I won’t be able to get emails or anything. T is trying a few new dating websites which she’ll update us on soon!

Anything new in your life? Cheap date ideas? Rants? Raves? Do tell!

Miss March is a Country Mouse

He's a City mouse, and I'm a Country mouse! What are these mice to do?!

So, a few posts back I quoted a friend of mine who said, “As far as I’m concerned, dating a guy in The City is like dating a guy in another country.”

She doesn’t mean that the people are different, or the dialect is hard to get used to, she means that it’s physically hard to see a man when they live in The City and you in the the country. First of all, I work a lot; if I’m not teaching, I’m grading papers, emailing parents, working on final grades. Second of all, to go into The City is close to twenty bucks round trip; I don’t really have the money to pop in-and-out at my leisure.

The Prep has been begging me to come into The City to see him. I keep telling him that I would, if I could, but he caught me at a really busy time in my life. I just started a new job, I have all these “rookie-teacher” responsibilities; I don’t have time on the weeknights to go see him, and recently, even my weekends are full of school stuff.

Sure, I like him. But, this is becoming sort of aggravating. We’re talking online and he tells me he asked a bunch of friends about “our situation”–his family (um, yes, we went on one date and he asked his family about me…) told him to court me (like that answer!); but he said, of one of his friend’s answers, “she doesn’t really think you want to see me because if you did, you would have.” I was really pissed when I read that. I made it very clear that a) I’m not looking for a serious relationship, but just to meet people; b) I’m busy; and c) that I do like him! I email him every morning, we text all day, I send him funny little quotes from school…it’s not like I’m ignoring him, or anything close to it.

Furthermore, it’s getting on my nerves that every time we talk he asks when I’m “coming in.” How about just let it lie for a few minutes and then let’s see what my plans are. Or better yet…how about you come visit ME?! What a novel and revolutionary idea!

I find myself reassuring him that I like him more and more, while he’s wondering why I can’t just come see him, all the while I’m getting more fed up. The more he asks, the more I don’t want to see him. It just makes it a bigger and bigger deal each time he asks. I feel bad, guilty, and sorry for something I didn’t even do!

I just found it odd that he asked people about what to do…the answer is pretty clear: you come visit me, if I won’t visit you. It’s the writing on the wall that must be covered by graffiti in that big City of his! Ha.

Miss March Challenges You!

Miss March has a challenge for you!

While talking to A tonight, she said very sternly to me, “I really don’t think there are any nice guys out there; I don’t believe it.”

I chose to disagree with her.

Is finding a "nice guy" like solving a rubik's cube? Just when you think you got it, another little color block pops up and you start back at square one.

Of course there are nice, good, sweet men out there; I mean, there has to be, right? Admiral Adama was the best boyfriend and friend he could be for the 3.5 years we were dating. Yes, I had my issues with him. Yes, they were major issues, but he was a sweetheart, most of the time.

Am I just proving myself wrong here?

What exactly constitutes a “good man”? My grandma would probably say, that a good man takes care of you, puts your first, never yells or snaps, lets you live your life (did I just describe a man or a dog?). Are we asking too little of men (just the other day I said to CB, “All I want is for someone to be nice to me and call me back!”) or perhaps we’re asking too much of men (be my best friend/partner/always be on/always be nice/do the dishes)?

I have a feeling that BB is going to be a “good” and “nice man.” He was raised with two sisters and watched men break our hearts and make us cry; he must have learned something from that. He’s in-tune, I think, more than most other men are, with a woman’s manners, methods, and reasoning. He’s watched his sisters chose or not chose to continue seeing men in their lives and our reasons for that.

Okay, after reading over this post I realized I quickly changed the question from finding a “nice guy” to a “good man”…I wonder why I did that?

I guess I see them as one and the same; someone who is a “good man” is also going to be “nice.” Don’t get me wrong here either, I’m not saying I’ve never met a nice guy, but they are very, very few and far between.

And yes, it’s certainly hard to find a nice guy out there; I’ve found, in my dating travels, that many men aren’t sure of themselves yet, so they take their insecurities out on you. But, there has to be a plethora of hidden nice guys out there, right? Maybe they’re all on some island, preparing me Apple Juice and vodkas with Tasti D Lite for dinner…

…or you could just start humming the tune to Matchmaker, “But, he’s a nice man, a good catch, true?”

Here’s your challenge: TELL US about any NICE GUYS you know! (and are they single and in the NY area? I kid, I kid. Sort of…) Prove Miss March and A wrong!

Are there any truly Nice Guys out there?