Tag Archives: Friend

Miss March on Modern Nature

Happy November, everyone!

First of all, thank you for the great cheap date suggestions. However CB’s been acting a little odd lately, so we’ll see how many of these get done before he’s off West. Who knows!

Before I start in on Song Lyric Saturday I wanted to share a phenomonen that made me laugh. Ever since I started dating at sixteen years old, whenever I had a steady boyfriend, my mother would refer to him as my “friend.” Even with the Admiral, who I dated for close to four years, she would introduce him or refer to him as “Miss March’s friend.” I didn’t mind it because I knew it was just her (and my grandma’s) style. However, when I started “dating” CB, I made it very clear to my mother that we weren’t “together”–we were friends, and he was not my boyfriend. Cut to the other night, my mother was at the doctor with me and said something to the doctor about my “boyfriend.” I whipped my head around to my mom and shook my head. “Uh, he’s not–” Mommy just cut me off and kept on talking. I laughed inside my head. Of course she would refer to the guy I made it clear was most certainly not my boyfriend AS my boyfriend. This only got awkward when I mentioned going on dates and the doctor said, “A little birdy told me that you have a boyfriend! How does he feel about you dating?” Um, he feels fine because HE’S. NOT. MY. BOYFRIEND. I know exactly why my mother does this, too. When there is a guy I’m serious about, she doesn’t want to add to the seriousness of it and inadvertenly push me into getting more serious with him because she refers to him as my boyfriend. However, when there’s a guy she knows I’m no where close to being serious about, she feels it’s safe to refer to him as my boyfriend because it’s not going to sway me into becoming more serious with him. It’s a very confusing theory. Do your mothers do anything like this?

Sondre Lerche is super adorable, no?

Today’s song lyrics come from the Dan In Real Life soundtrack. The whole soundtrack is original songs by Sondre Lerche and many of them are duets with amazing women singers, like Regina Spektor. Not only do I love the movie Dan In Real Life, but I adore Sondre Lerche. Fun fact: years ago J and I went to see Jason Mraz and Sondre opened for him. He’s very, very cute in person. These lyrics are to the song, “Modern Nature.” I love this song because of this one line, “We’ll just have to wait and see, if things go right, we’re meant to be.” I feel like I adhere to this belief a lot of the time; everyone is searching aimless for their “soulmate” but you may not know someone is your soulmate until you live a life with them and look back and realize, hey that worked, we must be meant to be!

Modern Nature

The moment has come to face the truth
I’m wide awake and so are you
Do you have a clue what this is (I don’t know)
Are you everything that I’ve missed? (I don’t hope so)
We’ll just have to wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right, we’re meant to be

The surface is gone. I scratched it off
We made some plans. I let them go
Do you have the slightest idea (No I don’t)
Why the world is bright when you’re near
Stay awhile and wait and see (wait and see)
If things go right, we’re meant to be

Oh, what a world this life would be
Forget all your technicolour dreams
Forget modern nature
this is how it’s meant to be

The time is here for being straight
It’s not too early and never too late
People say I should watch my pace (What do they know?)
“Think how you spend all your days” (They all say so)
They’ll just have to wait and see (Wait and see)
If things go right they’ll have to agree

Happy Saturday, everyone. Anyone got any good plans?

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Miss March’s Sunday Meltdown

He's going back to his native land, and I can't stop crying. Help!

CB told me last night that he’s going back to Colorado for a month. When he comes back, after that month, there’s a huge chance he’ll be joining the military and therefore, I won’t see him for a long, long, time.

I knew about the military stuff. He told me that right off that bat, when we first met. But, for some reason, as we were driving last night and he nonchalantly told me he’s staying in Colorado from Thanksgiving to New Years, I nearly burst into tears.

And now I still can’t stop crying.

I don’t get it.

The facts are these:

I think he’s great.

I adore being with him.

We have an amazing time together.

He’s smart, calm, sweet, safe, and makes me happy.

But, I also know he’s not the man of my dreams. He’s not the person I’m supposed to end up with (I just know; I knew this about Admiral Adama too). In a way, by him leaving, it’s going to free up my world a little for other men; however, I’m really happy with this friendship CB and I have. It’s nice to have someone nearby to stop over and see, and hang out with. Yesterday we went bowling and acted like kids and had the time of our lives. We’re content to sit and watch TV and laugh, or go out and people watch, or discuss politics (he’s still unsure on who he’s voting for….eeks).

On paper, I can see why I’m crying, at least a little–but, what the hell is with this wave of sadness? When I met Admiral Adama I fell (granted, I was 19) head over heels for him. I knew I loved him (in the largest capacity I could love) right after we started dating. It was just this feeling that came over me; that gut feeling where you know you love someone. But, with CB, I have none of that. Maybe I’m just sad to lose one of the nicest friends I’ve made in a long time.

But, something tells me that there’s a deeper, bigger, issue here. I mean, he told me he was leaving for a month, and I said I was sad and would miss him and he said yeah, the same. We had a great rest of the night together, but right before I was set to leave, I nearly fell apart. I cried the whole way home. It’s not like he broke up with me! It’s not even like he’s leaving tomorrow. Why am I still crying?

I lay in bed for a long time this morning thinking about the “bigger issue” here. Do I miss my grandfather? Am I scared about my future? Am I scared of being lonely with no CB house to run to? Yes to all these. But, why the tears and sobbing last night? We’ve only been “hanging out” two and a half months!

And this could be part of the issue too: I know we’re friends, but I’m not really sure how exactly he feels about me. He’s a very calm, unemotional person. I know he cares about me. He sure enjoys being with me and kissing me; but, I want to know what’s going through his head. Sometimes we get nostalgic and cutesy and say we’re “dating” and talk about our “first date,” but most of the time we just say we’re friends and hanging out. It’s confusing, perhaps?

Readers, you’ve been following me a while now, reading about my life and such, so, in your opinion, what’s with all these tears? Is it simple enough that I care about a man and he’s leaving and that sucks or is there more to it?