Tag Archives: Love

Miss March on LAFS

Happy Thanksgiving, readers!

Well, I do apologize for the lack of posts lately. Besides teaching, I’m a graphic design consultant, as well as run two businesses and just started up another venture; I’m a tad busy. And, if you couldn’t already tell I, a) have a problem saying no to people when it comes to helping with events, and b) obviously don’t like any free time on my hands.

Anyhow, ColoradoBoy is officially gone. He went back to CO for a month and isn’t really even sure if he’s coming back. Everyone keeps asking me how I’m doing with him gone, and I just laugh. Yes, we dated for four months, but it didn’t really feel like we were dating. We’re friends, first and foremost; he wasn’t ready for anything serious and God knows I’m not either, so we simply had a good time together. Do I miss him? Sure, I miss having a friend around. Do I really miss him? No. He was impossible to contact in between our times hanging out, his sister hated me, and he kept switching plans towards the end because said sister made plans which usurped our plans. I think it was really important I met him. He tried very hard to grow with me and he did learn a lot about relationships in our time together. He’s a great guy, and I think it’s cute and funny we met on Match.com–neither one of us are really online dating people (despite my past experience with it). I wish him well, and I wish him love; I do hope we stay in touch, he’s a well-meaning and good soul, just has some growing up to do.

Romeo and Juliet were said to have had LAFS.

This week I have seen and heard of two cases of “love at first sight.” Remember my Aunt’s friend K, who is like an aunt to me? She met some guy at a concert, it was totally love at first sight, and now, a month later, they are talking about spending the rest of their life together. I saw them both at T-giving yesterday and she couldn’t have been glowing any stronger, she looked gorgeous, in love, and totally over the moon. The look he was giving her was priceless. I couldn’t be happier for her! Another family member spent some time in Brazil last year and met a girl one night; well, though they only met one night, they fell for each other and have kept up a long distance relationship for about six months now. They’ll be seeing each other again soon, and there’s even marriage talk!

Okay, a part of me (the cynical part) doesn’t want to believe any of this. I mean, how can you fall in love with someone before you even know if they snore or not? Right. However, if you don’t already know, I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I really do believe that sometimes, once in a blue moon, two souls are meant to be together. I don’t think everyone will experience LAFS (love at first sight), nor should they, but some people, I believe, are really and truly meant to be together. Life can be very mysterious at times, and sometimes you don’t know the reason for things until you look at life in retrospect; perhaps you don’t realize it, but your path is leading you to your soul-mate (lover or friend). While it’s easy to be skeptical and judge, I think we have to also keep in mind that true love and LAFS does happen sometimes (and it could happen to someone you know!).

What are your thoughts on Love At First Sight?

PS. Update from T soon! (she doesn’t know it yet, but she’ll be updating us on something cool!)

Miss March: Song Lyric Saturday (Train of thought)

I haven’t done a Song Lyric Saturday in many weeks, so when I was on the train yesterday and this song came up on shuffle and I teared up, I knew I had to share it.

The amazing Rosie Thomas; I have to love a woman in cowgirl boots!

The song is October by Rosie Thomas (from her album “When We Were Small“). Rosie is one of those up and coming lyricists who you know will bust out on the scene and everyone will somehow act as if she’s always been there (her lyrics are almost on par, I think, with the greats: Carole, Carly, Joni, etc). She doesn’t always write about romantic love, which I think is the mark of a great song writer. Her song Wedding Day is this amazing love song to her life and friends about traveling and throwing caution to the wind. Loose Ends is about a woman finding herself and mending herself, just like a torn sweater. 2 Dollar Shoes is another one of her truly sweet love songs; makes you want to be in love. Her cover of Let It Be Me is truly beautiful, as well. She’s someone you’re going to want on your iPod.

However, as you read the lyrics to October, you will see why I found myself putting on my sunglasses and forgetting where I was for a few minutes on the train yesterday. It’s one of the most romantic/not-romantic songs I’ve ever heard; further, not only are the lyrics semi-haunting, but the music is gorgeous.

Be on the look out for this one, Rosie Thomas is sure to be mainstream soon and you want to say you listened to her way back when!

October

make her a flower in late december
when the sun is hot and shining on her
write her a love song and play it all day long
to remind her of all that she is worth

never never leave her

take her on long drives for ice cream by sea sides
and give her your coat when she is cold
tell her you miss her when you’re close enough to kiss her
and that you’d walk a thousand miles to tell her so

but never never leave her

take photographs of her on Brooklyn street in October
when her nervous smile is slightly curved
somedays when she is slightly down tell her it’s okay to frown
it makes you just fall more in love with her

but never never leave her.

What love song makes you tear up?

Miss March Is Drained!

Today was one of those days.

Ed and Heba are staying strong together, even while they are living apart!

I sobbed during The Biggest Loser. I mean, this isn’t totally unusual for me; I usually cry while watching The Biggest Loser because I’m so moved by the weight loss stories, but this time it was a little different. See, this season it’s Biggest Loser Families, so some of the couples are husbands and wives. Tonight the first husband, Ed, was kicked off and while he was leaving, his wife, Heba, (they are newlyweds) was sobbing, like heaving, can’t catch your breath sobbing. It totally made me sob. BB looked at me from across the room and gave me a “for serious?” look. Yes, for serious. Heba was talking about how much she was going to miss him in bed (sidenote: do you think that the couples have sexual relations while on the show? I hope so, it’s a lot of calories burned!), and Ed gave this beautiful speech about how she’s the light of his life….I’m such a sucker for using terms like “light” or “sunshine” while speaking romantically.

Remember when I was so stressed this summer that my eye twitched? Today’s stress level was on par with that. Everything was just crazy, moving at double or triple speed. I haven’t been sleeping enough, anyway, and today I found out that in two weeks Miss March has a conference to attend to…a two-night conference. However, I’m going with another teacher, so it’s going to be quite the Lucy and Ethel adventure (and let’s hope, for Miss March’s sake, that there’s some cute male teachers there!).

Tonight was one of those nights that I really wished I had a prince charming who would knock on the door with Chinese, tasti, and movies. It’s not that I was lonely, I just had a really long day and I would have loved for one of these men in my life to be like “hey, that girl had a long day, let me pamper her!” (I know, I’m out of my mind). It was one of those days where I felt totally drained from life and I just wanted someone to come along and help lift my spirits. You ever have those days? I did use my passive aggressiveness and changed my Facebook status to “Miss March decided this is what she wants: someone to bring her tasti with peanuts on top and watch her netflix with her. yup.” The Prep texted me and said, “I’d love to bring u tasti with peanuts on top and watch netflix.” I have to admit, as much as my feelings for him are sort of whatever, it was so nice to get that text and know that someone was thinking about what I may want.

Am I insane (or have I watched too many Rom-Coms?) to think that someday a man will go out of his way to make my day better?

Miss March’s Keychain

For some reason, the last three days, the lyrics to Castle on a Cloud from Les Miserables has been etched into my brain. It’s an extremely sad song about a little, neglected girl dreaming about her fantasy castle where she will be safe and happy. It got me thinking about fantasy places. We all have “places” that we go when we are sad, scared, or need to disconnect from reality for a bit. Often times, these fantasy places that we go to have fantasy guests that join us there; they could be real people in our lives that we miss, or care about, or they could be people we know we’re most likely never going to meet, but in our heads, they can dine with us at our fantasy hotel.

I have a lot of fantasy places that I go to when I’m upset. There’s one I go to with J (the inn that we want to buy someday); with A, in my head, I often to go a USO dance in 1944 where we pick up sailors and dance ’til dawn (I never said I was sane); with T, I often go to California and imagine us driving through the hills of Northern Cali and meeting interesting people at small coffee shops. These fantasies connect me with the people I miss and love; they’re usually fantasies of events that I know we would enjoy (or, in A’s case, would have enjoyed) together.

My fake motel key, keychain from Admiral Adama.

The other day I got locked out of my house, temporarily, and while struggling with my keys, I stopped and took a second to look at my keychain. My bright red keychain is a fake motel key; the Admiral bought it for me when we were shopping together in DC one weekend. We thought that they were adorable because they were like “old-fashioned” motel key chains (opposed to the new cards you slide in the door); he bought us each one. Now, we both have them on our keys; I know it’s silly, but to look at that keychain, it reminds me of all the amazing times we had together in our little fantasies and dreams. Although we still talk a lot, and he’s so important to me, a part of “us” is now forever gone. I’m not his and he’s not mine. However, in this fake motel, in this fake little town, we’re still “us” laughing and dancing in this fake little motel room with busted curtains and dimmed lights.

Where do you go to escape in your fantasies? And who joins you?

Miss March’s Role Models

So, today I found out that my grandmother and her second husband were headed toward splitsville. They’ve been married for 26 years; they met when she was a mother of forty with six kids and he was the young guitar teacher. Now, 26 years later, he’s moving out with another woman, and my grandmother, though seemingly semi-upset, seemed sort of fulfilled and happy to move on with the rest of her life. She’s seventy one going on thirty; it was so funny to hear her say some of the things she was saying tonight, “Well, my first husband [my grandfather] and I were married 23 years, this one was 26 years, and the next could be 28 and I’d be ninety-seven and ready to move onto a younger man in his eighties!” I mean, more power to her. She’s a woman who never gave up on men or love.

My beautiful grandmother (sporting the little black dress and glasses) leaving a cruise ship in the '60s.

Both my grandmothers are amazing role models for living the unconventional romantic lifestyle. They both were young married brides with kids, who went on to get divorced and find love in other places. I’m proud of my grandmother. We all knew that she wasn’t the happiest person she could be when she was with him, for the last few years, and now she’s getting the chance to start over again. As Cat Stevens‘ (oh, I’m sorry, Yusuf Islam…) sings, “It ain’t never too late, to learn about love” and he’s right. Love comes in all ages, sizes, shapes, and forms; who says a newly divorced seventy one year old woman can’t find the man of her dreams and live with him for the next thirty years? She can, and she might! (and knowing my grandmother, she will!) She was already talking about single’s night at the churches in town, internet dating, and asking me where I meet the men I go out with. To use the old line, this was a totally “far out” night. It was semi-surreal talking to my grandmother about her marriage, the divorce, the new woman in her (soon to be ex) husband’s life, etc. She was very open and honest, strong and calm. She didn’t seem shaken or upset, she talked as though this was all a matter of fact. I mean, they were living their own lives in a lot of ways, but divorce is a dirty word and it’s never easy, even if it is amicable.

The best part of the night was when I was leaving and my aunt called out to me, “Let me know if you want to go to the gym with me this week!” and my grandma calls out from behind her, “Or double date!”

Is your family as odd as mine? Please do tell!

Miss March Loves Neil Simon

So, the other day I watched Neil Simon‘s The Goodbye Girl for the first time. I love, love, love Neil Simon’s work. He really understands the human emotions and relationships, yet somehow always makes everything seem so attainable and humorous.

Neil Simon's The Goodbye Girl with Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason. So good.

There’s actually a few versions of The Goodbye Girl (including a Broadway musical with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters…weird) but the one I saw was the 1977 version with Richard Dreyfuss and Marsha Mason (who was actually married to Simon). The movie is about a young mother who gets dumped and the apartment she was staying in was actually subleted to this man, Dreyfuss. She has no where to go, so he takes some pity on her and lets her stay (uh, rent free…) ; they hate each other in the beginning, but they end up falling in love.

I really liked this movie for multiple reasons. One reason was that Dreyfuss’s character isn’t supposed to be very good looking, sexy, etc. But, there’s a tenderness and gentleness to the way he treats Mason and her daughter that makes her fall in love with him. He genuinely loves her and can’t get enough of her. It’s funny to actually see, physically, throughout the movie, that his looks change, the more he falls in love with her. In the beginning of the movie you think to yourself, wow, I could never see myself with someone like him–he’s not that nice to her in the beginning, he’s annoying, brass, rude, and sort of mangy (shielding himself because in turn, she’s not nice to him, and he really does like her). But, when she lets herself trust him, and in turn, his feelings become apparent to her, you can totally see how madly in love he is, and you, the viewer, long for that sort of love. It’s funny that people can physically change right before your eyes, the more you fall for them. At first you’re not attracted to them, but the more you get to know them, and the more you see who they really are, the more attractive they can become. It’s funny how the human eye and mind work together. On the flipside, you ever have a guy be mean to you and suddenly they don’t look so hot anymore? That’s happened to me a lot. He’s attractive to start, but when his nastiness starts showing, suddenly his eyes bulge out more, his nose looks funny, and his mouth is too wide for his face. Again, maybe that’s the brain protecting us from future harm by making the mean boys look ugly and the nice boys look suddenly attractive. Thoughts?

The other reason I love this movie is because of this one line that Dreyfuss says to Mason at the end of the movie. The movie is called The Goodbye Girl because everyone always is leaving her. Well, at the end of the movie, Dreyfuss gets an acting gig for a month in California and he tells her that of course he’s coming back, but she doesn’t believe him. And he says something to her like (I can’t find the actual quote anywhere), “Why is it that the three men before me left without saying goodbye and yet I’m the one who gets the brunt of it all and I’m the one who’s actually coming back!?” It made me stop and think. We all have trust issues. It takes a long time to 100% trust someone; but it’s true that we (sometimes) lay the anger and blame for screwing us over on the next lover that comes along. Even though the new person is 100% trustworthy and amazing and loves us, we still harbor the trust issues from the people that came before the new person. It’s simply not fair to the new person, which is what Dreyfuss is saying, and the hurdle that we have to get over is putting the past behind us and trusting the new person. Trust is tricky; if someone breaks our trust, we’re not just angry at him/her, we’re mad at ourselves for trusting them in the first place. Therefore, when the next person comes along, we’re so wary of them, yet wanting to trust them at the same time. Even if they prove themselves clean and trustworthy, we still are in survival mode and our brain reminds us of the times we were hurt. It’s so hard to put those feelings away and trust the new person; but, in order to have a strong relationship, the bad feelings have to become lessons learned and not constant struggles.

Anyway, see The Goodbye Girl. It’ll make you laugh and cry. For real.

Hope everyone had a lovely labor day…summer is officially over.

Miss March on Doling and Taking

I often find myself giving out relationship advice at all hours of the day; with girl friends having different schedules, boy friends who ask odd questions, and a mom in the dating world, sometimes I find myself repeating the same speeches twice in the same day. I love it, don’t get me wrong. I find relationships fascinating and I want my friends to be happy, so I always enjoy a good advice giving session–but, rarely do I find myself taking much advice from people. I’m sort of an independent spirit, in that regard. I love my friends, and I listen to them, whole-heartily, when they try to help, but often my answers have to come within in order for me to listen 100% to them.

Which is why when I get or read advice from others that seem to work, and I believe in, I try to use it. For example, Gomez is the king of simple emotions for us kids. I remember when I was 16 and dating HSBF, I was all upset because I thought HSBF liked my friend and Gomez found me crying and gave me the advice, “He likes you, he’s allowed to have other friends, but he wouldn’t hurt you like that.” He was right; HSBF had no interest in her, I just wanted more attention. Just the other day while car shopping I was venting about how I really enjoy my time with ColoradoBoy, but since the MusicTeach debacle, I’m now worried that a guy will change completely and cut off all ties with me. Gomez, driving, said, “Do you like him?” I nodded. “Does he like you?” I nodded. “Then stop worrying and forget about it. He likes you. That’s great.” Simple, effective, clear. I’m trying to listen to it and I really did stop worrying about it…mostly. Ha.

I came across this blog post by Meghan from NonSociety and there was something about the advice she gives about dating post-break up, which really resonated with me. She says,

“My advice is to go on dates, but don’t get serious. You need to know that there are loads of men out there for the picking (when the time is right). But after a breakup, these guys are merely ‘Feel Goods’, guys to boost your ego and distract you from the pain. Do not rely on them for anything but distraction.”

I think this is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve read about jumping back into the dating world. She’s right on about the way we should approach it and the feelings we should “allow ourselves” to feel.

What’s the best advice you’ve gotten about dating? The worst? Do you find yourself giving out dating advice a lot?