Category Archives: Dating websites

Miss March on LAFS

Happy Thanksgiving, readers!

Well, I do apologize for the lack of posts lately. Besides teaching, I’m a graphic design consultant, as well as run two businesses and just started up another venture; I’m a tad busy. And, if you couldn’t already tell I, a) have a problem saying no to people when it comes to helping with events, and b) obviously don’t like any free time on my hands.

Anyhow, ColoradoBoy is officially gone. He went back to CO for a month and isn’t really even sure if he’s coming back. Everyone keeps asking me how I’m doing with him gone, and I just laugh. Yes, we dated for four months, but it didn’t really feel like we were dating. We’re friends, first and foremost; he wasn’t ready for anything serious and God knows I’m not either, so we simply had a good time together. Do I miss him? Sure, I miss having a friend around. Do I really miss him? No. He was impossible to contact in between our times hanging out, his sister hated me, and he kept switching plans towards the end because said sister made plans which usurped our plans. I think it was really important I met him. He tried very hard to grow with me and he did learn a lot about relationships in our time together. He’s a great guy, and I think it’s cute and funny we met on Match.com–neither one of us are really online dating people (despite my past experience with it). I wish him well, and I wish him love; I do hope we stay in touch, he’s a well-meaning and good soul, just has some growing up to do.

Romeo and Juliet were said to have had LAFS.

This week I have seen and heard of two cases of “love at first sight.” Remember my Aunt’s friend K, who is like an aunt to me? She met some guy at a concert, it was totally love at first sight, and now, a month later, they are talking about spending the rest of their life together. I saw them both at T-giving yesterday and she couldn’t have been glowing any stronger, she looked gorgeous, in love, and totally over the moon. The look he was giving her was priceless. I couldn’t be happier for her! Another family member spent some time in Brazil last year and met a girl one night; well, though they only met one night, they fell for each other and have kept up a long distance relationship for about six months now. They’ll be seeing each other again soon, and there’s even marriage talk!

Okay, a part of me (the cynical part) doesn’t want to believe any of this. I mean, how can you fall in love with someone before you even know if they snore or not? Right. However, if you don’t already know, I’m a pretty spiritual person, and I really do believe that sometimes, once in a blue moon, two souls are meant to be together. I don’t think everyone will experience LAFS (love at first sight), nor should they, but some people, I believe, are really and truly meant to be together. Life can be very mysterious at times, and sometimes you don’t know the reason for things until you look at life in retrospect; perhaps you don’t realize it, but your path is leading you to your soul-mate (lover or friend). While it’s easy to be skeptical and judge, I think we have to also keep in mind that true love and LAFS does happen sometimes (and it could happen to someone you know!).

What are your thoughts on Love At First Sight?

PS. Update from T soon! (she doesn’t know it yet, but she’ll be updating us on something cool!)

Advertisements

Miss March: T Writes from the Battlelines!

Hey all, special treat today! T‘s been online dating and I’ve asked her to share here with us, her first experience meeting a man she met online. I’ll be back in the next few days! Thanks T!

I have a confession.

Well, I guess, a couple. The first is that I am currently watching the My Super Sweet Sixteen Movie. Don’t judge me!  The second is much bigger, and only a few of my closest friends know.

I am a registered user on not just one, but two online dating sites. I have a profile on each. After getting my heart broken about a year and a half ago, dating a really great guy for about 4 months somewhere in there (who unfortunately could never be more than a rebound, though I did care for him very much and wish him all the best), this is the first time I’m really coming to terms with the idea that I am actually, finally ready for a relationship.  However I work in a creative field a little bit void of straight men, and thus… dating sites. Which I swore I would never do, after a jarring experience last September.

From this, I met TheLawyer.  He is the only one I have had a date with so far. Let me tell you a tale… gather ’round, friends of Miss March.

If you ask any of my friends, they will tell you – while laughing – that I have a type. I like them maybe a few pounds overweight (negotiable), glasses, a big smile, bearded/stubbled (which is funny because I hate facial hair typically, however every man I’ve loved has had it!), and an intellectual.  So when Lawyer messaged me, it seemed like a hit. He was funny, a bit of a geek about music, older, glasses, stubbled, and smart. A slightly bearded bespectacled intellectual. After exchanging some e-mails and a few flirty gchats, I happily agreed to meet him for a drik after work on Wednesday.

It started off well enough – he set the place for where we’d meet.  In my group, I am typically the one making arrangements, so it felt great to take a break from it. I met up with him, and on a purely (and ashamedly) superficial level – he’s so short. My height. And I’m little. The place he found was totally packed, so we crossed the street to a sort of more upscale place. He was impossible to talk to in person, I felt like I had to pull the conversation out of him. However, I eventually got him started on a topic he was interested in – the neighborhoods of Brooklyn. Or, more specifically, the transportation benefits of the various neighborhoods in Brooklyn. He listed every bus and subway that goes to Brooklyn Heights, and making sure to mention that was where he lived with his ex girlfriend… and he knew how long ago they had broken up to the day. Literally. He was very condescending about the fact that I was younger than him, and when I tried to talk about economic policy with him, he dismissed my ideas because I was young. He finished by telling me that he’s been on the Atkins diet for deveral years (despite that he’s very thin) and proceeded to give me tips for how to do it myself.

So, he turned out to kind of be an asshole. I’ve been talking to a couple other guys, and hopefully my dates with them will be more promising. However, as my first real attempt back out there, newly healed heart and mind… it was a little jarring. Will they all be so surly?? Please say no!

Miss March Reads The Ethics Section…

From Sunday’s New York Times Magazine, The Ethicist section,

Minutes before my first lunch date with a man I met online, he called to cancel because he was hit by a bicycle and was in the emergency room at Roosevelt Hospital. I later called the E.R. to check on him, and a nurse said he was never there. Weeks after that, I heard about another woman with whom he used the same excuse: hit by a bike; in the E.R. Is it dater beware, or is there an obligation to be honest even online? — BETH ROSE FEUERSTEIN, LONG BEACH, N.Y.

Sounds all too familiar, no?

Beware: men using bicycle accidents as excuses!

To quote myself, about MusicTeach, from July 18th, 2008:

On Thursday I got two text messages from him. One was asking me to come talk to him online. The next said that he had gotten into a sports accident and his face was beaten up. I came online and we chatted. He thanked me for checking in with him and told me that he hadn’t even told his parents’ yet (so I was the first person he told?) and that he was “in hiding and would be for the next few days.” He didn’t make any mention of our day together, which I found odd. Later that night we talked online again. Again, he talked about his accident and told me, three more times, using different terms, that he would be unavailable for a few days because of his accident.

The accident he was referring to was a bike accident. He apparently biked right into a tree and scarred himself up horribly (think: Quasi Modo). However, when I recently saw him, although it had been some time since “the accident,” he had made it sound like he was scarred for good. Did I see any scars? Negative.

Does anyone know this Beth Rose Feurstein? I would love to find out this guy’s name! She also poses a great question, is there an obligation to be honest, even online? I say of course there is–but, apparently many people don’t have the same morals in the real world as they do on the ‘net (or maybe they do, and that’s doubly scary!)

Miss March Loves Deli Food

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately–with grades and comments due, things are sort of nutty in crazy-town for Miss March.

CB and I HAVE to get kosher deli food before he leaves!

So, I saw CB last night (after a week where we were both away) and had a great time. He’s going back home for a while soon, so we went over the list of things we “want to accomplish” before he goes away. This list includes going out for kosher food, attending a hockey game, going go-kart racing, bowling, making dinner, and some other meaningless things like helping me pick out a GPS. He is indeed coming back in January, but a part of me feels like it’s ending when he goes away. A month is a long time for people who have only been seeing each other for close to three months (though, even three months with him feels like a great accomplishment! Remember when he was just a name on my Match.com screen? Ah, the good ol’ days!). I am really going to miss him. I know he’s not the one for me, but he’s a great guy, and I do love spending time with him.

Anyway, as I was getting in my car yesterday I said to him, “let’s go on a date soon!” (By the by, let me get the distinction right for you, as he puts it, we are people who “hang out and go on dates” but are not dating. Right-o.) As the words came out of my mouth I realized that I don’t need to go out on a “date” with him because of two things:

a) My favorite times with him are lying around watching Rescue Me, Arrested, Scrubs, and How I Met Your Mother. It’s at these times that we end up having semi-serious life discussions, our goofiest (love the word goofiest) times, and most sincere moments.

b) Neither of us have the money to spend to go out to dinner or The City or what not.

Yet, I do still like going out and doing new things. The museum near us has laser-light shows which may be fun; we could go apple-picking (though I mentioned this and he said, “I don’t really get it. What’s the point? Where’s the fun? Can I climb the trees?”). I need some good ideas for super-cheap (see: FREE) dates. While I love lying around and being silly, sometimes putting on something other than sweats (though, I must be super comfortable with him that I am happy wearing sweats around him…on a regular basis) and going out and doing something new. I find doing new things together super romantic; you’re both in the same boat, trying new things, seeing new sights. Part of me really wanted to go away for the weekend with him. I think we could both use the time away and I’d love to just be away with him and no distractions. Yet, we have no money to go away….Ideas on cheap dates? Fun things to do within ones home?

Question I’ve been getting a lot lately: are you seeing anyone else? Sure. Sort of. I don’t consider myself “seeing” CB–we’re friends, albeit, special friends. I’ve been talking to The Prep a lot. But, as we discussed, it’s been so hard to see him (uh, anywhere except train stations, apparently). He’s a very sweet guy, but I’m not sure about how realistic dating him would be.

Speaking of, I canceled my Match.com account. I have like five more days on it. I’m really okay with this. I’ll still have my account, but I won’t be able to get emails or anything. T is trying a few new dating websites which she’ll update us on soon!

Anything new in your life? Cheap date ideas? Rants? Raves? Do tell!

Miss March Believes in Signs?

I think I’m through with Match.com.

I clicked my “who viewed you” button and saw that someone from my high school had viewed me. Awkward.

I’m taking this as a sign. I’m through with the online dating thing for a while. It was awesome this summer, and I met so many interesting men, but it takes a certain amount of effort and dedication that I just don’t have right now.

In other news; you ever have times when you see certain names pop-up in your life over and over again?

His name was on a gameshow tonight. Weird.

One of the Boys on the Stoop‘s last name keeps coming into my life. It’s not an unusual name, but he’s only the second person in my life that I know with that last name. I’ve been seeing it everywhere: on my textbooks, in movies, and then, while I was working out and watching TV tonight, it was an answer on a game show. I don’t really know what it means, except that perhaps I’m too superstitious or the name is more common than I once thought? I’m not kidding when I say that I see it somewhere new every day…or, perhaps I’m just noticing it more now because of him? Did this ever happen to you?

Any new signs in your life lately?

Miss March’s Sunday Meltdown

He's going back to his native land, and I can't stop crying. Help!

CB told me last night that he’s going back to Colorado for a month. When he comes back, after that month, there’s a huge chance he’ll be joining the military and therefore, I won’t see him for a long, long, time.

I knew about the military stuff. He told me that right off that bat, when we first met. But, for some reason, as we were driving last night and he nonchalantly told me he’s staying in Colorado from Thanksgiving to New Years, I nearly burst into tears.

And now I still can’t stop crying.

I don’t get it.

The facts are these:

I think he’s great.

I adore being with him.

We have an amazing time together.

He’s smart, calm, sweet, safe, and makes me happy.

But, I also know he’s not the man of my dreams. He’s not the person I’m supposed to end up with (I just know; I knew this about Admiral Adama too). In a way, by him leaving, it’s going to free up my world a little for other men; however, I’m really happy with this friendship CB and I have. It’s nice to have someone nearby to stop over and see, and hang out with. Yesterday we went bowling and acted like kids and had the time of our lives. We’re content to sit and watch TV and laugh, or go out and people watch, or discuss politics (he’s still unsure on who he’s voting for….eeks).

On paper, I can see why I’m crying, at least a little–but, what the hell is with this wave of sadness? When I met Admiral Adama I fell (granted, I was 19) head over heels for him. I knew I loved him (in the largest capacity I could love) right after we started dating. It was just this feeling that came over me; that gut feeling where you know you love someone. But, with CB, I have none of that. Maybe I’m just sad to lose one of the nicest friends I’ve made in a long time.

But, something tells me that there’s a deeper, bigger, issue here. I mean, he told me he was leaving for a month, and I said I was sad and would miss him and he said yeah, the same. We had a great rest of the night together, but right before I was set to leave, I nearly fell apart. I cried the whole way home. It’s not like he broke up with me! It’s not even like he’s leaving tomorrow. Why am I still crying?

I lay in bed for a long time this morning thinking about the “bigger issue” here. Do I miss my grandfather? Am I scared about my future? Am I scared of being lonely with no CB house to run to? Yes to all these. But, why the tears and sobbing last night? We’ve only been “hanging out” two and a half months!

And this could be part of the issue too: I know we’re friends, but I’m not really sure how exactly he feels about me. He’s a very calm, unemotional person. I know he cares about me. He sure enjoys being with me and kissing me; but, I want to know what’s going through his head. Sometimes we get nostalgic and cutesy and say we’re “dating” and talk about our “first date,” but most of the time we just say we’re friends and hanging out. It’s confusing, perhaps?

Readers, you’ve been following me a while now, reading about my life and such, so, in your opinion, what’s with all these tears? Is it simple enough that I care about a man and he’s leaving and that sucks or is there more to it?

Miss March Doesn’t Confront the Past (and is okay with that!)

So, it finally happened.

Last night CB and I went to see Religulous (which was awesome, by the way). We had a lot of time to kill, so we sat outside (the smell of Fall was just in the air!) the indie movie theater and talked about life for a while.  We were watching people walk by when all of the sudden I had this weird premonition. If you know me, you know that I tend to get flashes of premonitions once in a while and then all of the sudden the thing will happen.

Well, sure enough. Out of the corner of my eye I see this tan baseball cap. I look at the face and my stomach dropped.

“Um, that may or may not be the guy who screwed me over this summer,” I whispered to CB.

He asked if I wanted to go inside and see if it was him, but I really didn’t. I was super confused. All I wanted to do all summer was confront him (especially if he was with another girl, which he was), but now I couldn’t even recognize his face. Was it him? Was it not him? We walked into the lobby and I sort of followed him into the snack area. It felt good knowing that CB was just a few feet behind me. I walked over to the snack counter and tried to get a closer view of his face. When he turned around, I knew.

Well, if it isn’t good old, MusicTeach.

I looked back to CB (and side note: did I feel bad watching this guy on my “date” with CB? A little. Did CB understand my need to do it? Completely. Hence, he’s my friend first) and he waved me on.

What would I say? Go up to him and be like, “Hey asshole?” I still wasn’t even 100% sure it was him. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t remember it was him? However, as they say in Pushing Daisies (love it!), The facts were these: wearing the same baseball cap, same body type, same brooding eyes, hair color…and earlier in the night I thought I had seen his car in town, but had blocked it from my memory. The only thing which didn’t match up for me was his nose, but he had a weird nose anyway (and according to the “account” from him, he messed up his nose in that “biking accident” he had; the accident which supposedly scarred him…did I see any scars? Yeah, no).

I sat down next to CB and MusicTeach walked right by; he looked me right in the eye and showed no sign of recognition. Yes, my hair was up, and he never saw it that way, and yes, I was wearing a fleece and jeans, and he only saw me in shorts and dresses…um, but, no sign in his eyes? Maybe my readers were right (see comment: “something is just off about this music teacher guy. i would stay away”…to which I didn’t really listen) and there was something seriously off about him. He was with a blond girl. I called J and she gave the same response CB gave: go throw something in his face. Ha, I wish. However, looking back in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t say or do anything; who knows what his reaction may have been.

Also, I’m glad I didn’t go up to him and say the wrong thing; or get nervous and look like a fool. I was actually pretty calm about the whole thing. It was funny, too, because I sent out a mass text to J, T, and A about it, and also sent it to Admiral Adama. He was the first to respond, and he asked if I was okay and was CB with me. It was a really nice text to get from him. Yes, this whole debacle was on my mind the whole night. I knew it was going to happen. I just knew it. I had that feeling.

Anyway, he looked crappy, and I was with a bigger, more handsome, and masculine man. Plus, I looked all adult in my teacher clothes. He looked like a bum. Not for nothing, but that sort of brings a smirk to my face. I wonder if he recognized me at all. Or if he went home and thought, “I know her from somewhere…” (uh yeah, Musicteach, you spent over $300 on dinner for me…and a book…and cds…).

One of the reasons I love this blog is because while writing this entry, I was looking back on my old posts about MusicTeach. Boy, was I in denial about that. He was a jerk. However, I was duped. He really led me on (you don’t talk to someone from midnight to 8am on the phone about your life and then pretend it never happened, right?) in many ways. He also made me feel like an idiot, and screwed up my trust in other men. Bravo, MusicTeach.

All in all, one of the weirdest nights, ever.

Did anyone else have a weird night? I’m going to go read my horoscope and see if it says anything about this weird energy!